Saturday, November 28, 2009

Open Forum: How Do You Self-Identify?

I'm bringing this post back because it was so popular and I'd like to get more of an idea of where my readers are coming from and who they are.

It would be interesting to know how most people who participate here identify. Don't feel the need to classify but if you wish to opine...

Sexual Orientation: Are you gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer, asexual, questioning, pansexual, straight?

Gender Identity: Are you male female, intersex, m2f, f2m, androgyne, genderqueer, questioning?

155 comments:

Queers United said...

I'll kick it off with saying that I identify as a Queer Male.

Kid A said...

I'm a bisexual male.

Diane J Standiford said...

Tough. I am happily coupled with a bisexual for 29 years, and I am a male trapped in a female body. I call myself gay, to make it simple.

Lil' Miss E said...

I'm a bisexual female. *sighs* It feels so good to say that.

Seth said...

Pansexual gender fluid (ranging mostly between male and androgyne.)

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you posted the question the way you did. Peeling apart things like "sexual orientation" and "gender identity" is a great way to begin busting thru narrow minded stereotypes! Being a child of the seventies, we always used to use the KINSEY scale, but as I grew older it became quite apparent that it was about so much more than sexual behavior. That is why I identify as Queer. I see the term as descriptive of a wider range of my behaviors and idealogies. It embraces people of all sexual orientations and gender identities who have a wider understanding and stronger tolerance for "the other". As a "Queer" I open myself up to the effort of trying to understand ALL other persectives. I am very Proud to be QUEER. Love Jofish

CrackerLilo said...

Bisexual female.

My best friend (another bisexual female) gifted me with a wonderful description of my gender presentation: "Femme with calloused hands."

Jay said...

s.o.: queer
g.i. ftm, masculine presenting

Bitheway said...

I'm male bisexual. Though I'd love to be a girl for a day. So there's an urge to gender bend in there too.

Larry said...

I am a male "same sexual" .... I do not like the term "homo," nor, actually, any other term but "gay." You know the "bell-shaped curve?" I am at the extreme end of the "same sexual" range. Never have come close to, nor desired to touch a person of another gender. I must add, however, and PLEASE to any others do not take offense, I am happy that I am totally male in thought, looks, actions, etc. Best wishes to all, and thank you for this wonderful site.

Judith said...

Lesbian woman.

missnomered said...

Female (although with some occasional, well-hidden genderqueer tendencies), and queer.

And femme. Fierce, nerdy femme.

Sapphocrat said...

Lesbian, since before I was born (female). ;) Never ID'd as anything else (except when I lied about it as a teenager.)

Angelia Sparrow said...

Butch Earth Mother.

Bisexual female, committed het.

Rainbow Demon said...

Omnisexual Pagan Male / Committed Queer. I have a male partner of 9 years (coming up on 10) who was an Orthodox Priest for 15 years before we met. He left the church and we got a civil union in VT in 2000, Live in PA where our relationship is not recognized, and if we go 7 miles east to NJ we are considered domestic partners.

Any wonder why we're confused?

Peace,
=RD=

Sasha said...

Well, my gender would be female, but I have strong male tendencies in the way I think and feel about things, although I look totally femme on the outside.

I identify as a lesbian, but queer works too.

Marc said...

Gay male. Just took me awhile to get here! :)

Erinya said...

Bisexual female.

Kelli Busey said...

Thats easy. I'm a questioning gay, bisexual, transgender who loves being identified as a queerest of the queer. whew! Can I get married anywhere yet?

Andy said...

Still trying to figure this one out, so I guess "questioning".

I know I'm genderqueer. Born female. Currently in a very male phase, after being in a very female phase.

Attracted to males, regardless.

So... Queer? :)

BiphobiaFighter said...

Bisexual man who borders on being asexual. :)

BiphobiaFighter said...

I'll change my previous answer. I'm a pansexual man who borders on being asexual. :)

I identify as bi since I only found out about the word "pansexual" after I started to find the prefix "bi" to be empowering. I feel uncomfortable doing things which reinforces the gender binary, though.

Queers United said...

Thank you everyone who has responded, we certainly have a diverse crowd which is really wonderful!

P.S. Biphobiafighter (love the name)

Bruce said...

gay

butterfly said...

Well for years I thought I was heterosexual - I was married and any thoughts I had of women were pushed to one side assumed to be something all women think of once in a blue moon.

Last year while still married I realised it was a bit more than that, but since I was still married I figured I was Bi. Since my separation from my husband, I've been thinking about it a lot and looking at my marriage from a different angle and gaining a better awareness of my sexuality and I realise I am definitely a lesbian.

I'm not all the way out yet, but what a relief it was accepting it to myself!

becky said...

queer female

Ty said...

lesbian female though queer works for me too

Pikku said...

Pan-romantic asexual with homo-romantic tendencies.
Even though I'm neutrois, I go through occasional phases of feeling slightly more masculine or feminine (the norm being neither) while remaining overall neutrois.
However, whenever I do, I become more romantically inclined toward males if I feel more masculine, or toward females if I feel feminine.
I think I just confused myself.

Queers United said...

its okay pikku, welcome to the beautiful diverse fabric of queerdom

Anonymous said...

I ID as a female bodied male. I am a FTM in spirit and mind, just not in body. However I will most likely have chest surgery. Personal gender identification can be very specific and encompass a broad range of ideals. Now what I'd like to know is what are WE going to do about this most recent attack on McDonalds????

Aissa said...

I am a bi-asexual female. Usually confuses a lot of people!

I usually explain that it means I am aesthetically and romantically attracted to both males and females, but sexually attracted to neither. I would like a platonic relationship with either a male or a female.

Although sometimes I think I should identify as a pan-asexual, since I would be quite happy to have a platonic relationship with someone of any sex/gender.

agek kaliyuga said...

I'm neither Straight, Bisexual, nor Gay, I'm just SHAMELESS !

Anonymous said...

Hi I am lesbian(new to this site).Would someone explain pansexual and asexual. Right from my culture and where I am from( asian /singapore) I feel so proud and that elsewhere the family is making our voices heard and frustrated that right here there is not even a croak.

erdna

Anonymous said...

Hey Erdna,

Asexual means that the person does not experience sexual attraction towards anyone (however they may stil experience aesthetic and/or romantic attraction), and therefore has no desre to engage in sexual activity. However some asexuals (not all though) will engage in sex simply to keep their partner happy.

A pansexual (sometimes also called omnisexual) is someone who can be attracted (sexually, romantically, or aesthetically) to someone, regardless of their gender, this would include; male, female, transgendered, intersexed, ect.

Legion XXXVI said...

I've always identified as bi male tending towards the hetero side.

Until now, anyway...

Now, I suppose I'm questioning my true orientation. I have NEVER considered myself straight. Ever. Ev-er. (Ok, overemphasis...) It's just that after many failed relationships with girls/women, I'm beginning to feel like maybe I'm playing for the wrong team.

I tend to get a little wordy, so I'll just end up by saying that for now, call me bi. Later, maybe gay. Hell, just call me, 'cause I'm freakin' confused!

CognitiveCyclone said...

i'm an androgynous trans-male lesbian

Brad said...

I'm answering this a bit late, but I just found your blog. A bisexual male here, happily (and monogamously) married for 14 years. I'm attracted to men, women, and people in-between, but "bisexual" seems the simplest fit.

"Queer" is a wonderfully inclusive term for the GLBT community, but I don't call myself queer because the uninitiated may assume it means strictly "homosexual," and if I come out to someone, I want to emphasize that liking one gender doesn't mean I don't like another.

As for gender identity: Gender and sexuality are related somehow, but I'm not yet sure what that means for me.

Lili said...

I am a female and I previously self-identified as bisexual (but rarely talked about this with others as I didnt think people would understand). I have been in a long term committed relationship with a straight male and I now self-describe my sexual orientation as "mostly straight" as I am primarily attracted to men, but have also always been attracted to women. I have become more comfortable with sharing this with others too as I have found people who accept me for me :-)

Queers United said...

so many orientations and identities, I am glad to know we really are a bunch of Queers United ;)

inde said...

I am a queer female.

Anonymous said...

questioning asexual, i guess!

Anonymous said...

Male, in a gay relationship, but actually pansexual. I am drawn primarily to men, but can, and have, been sexual with females. Pansexual seems so powerful as it allows for inclusion of any gender identity and orientation. So to use Larry's "bell curve" analogy, I am closer to the center of the bell curve, strongly attracted to men, but fully embrace and can be sexual with anyone.

Audra said...

I am a lesbian woman

pretzelboy said...

I'm an asexual male.

Anonymous said...

Semi-butch female on the outside, slightly effeminate gay male on the inside. Pansexual genderqueer.

As a kid, I only ever had crushes on boys, but by the same token, I only ever admired and wished to emulate men (from baseball players to ballet dancers). I wasn't really brought up to be in a closet, so my 'range' was free to be broader than most. Not to worry, I'm definitely a feminist; though a fictional character, the one woman I always looked up to was the cross-dressing Eowyn, Shieldmaiden of Rohan-- the original warrior princess!
In high school I started to rethink my sexuality, though I was not yet active. I decided I was really a bisexual who generally prefers the opposite gender. I've never actually wanted to have a sex change, but in my head, I'm basically a gay man.
Looking for mutual love, I was a virgin until the age of twenty-seven. After several spates of unrequited love (for guys), I fell in with a man who wasn't even my usual type, who was kind of 'rough trade' for me. We've been together for two and a half years now. It's great- I wear dark, austere men's clothes and my partner, who has a slight build and loves bright colours, typically shops in the women's section at the thrift store. He's comfortable with my genderqueer-ness and I'm embracing more and more the fluidity of both sexuality and gender.

Anonymous said...

To amend that book of an entry above: I'm also an atheist and rational anarchist, and those are the things I've been ridiculed for, not for being queer. Needless to say, I've not yet found anywhere to fit in!

ted said...

bi/queer man, and married to straight woman

Queers United said...

ted - that's cool are you out to your wife, is she accepting?

ted said...

my wife was the first person i came out to, and yeah, she has been very supportive.

salamander said...

Lesbian woman.

I am romantically, but not sexually, attracted to men. I haven't yet figured out how to label that: pan-romantic, heteroromantic or not at all (as I'm not entirely asexual). So there, have them all and take your pick.

a said...

god, its so sad watching the -ist people feel the need to be labeled and categoried and packaged as a certain thing. rational anarchist pagan blah blah blah, whats that got to do with your sexual orientation? also i always here the asexuals saying they are pansexual-asexual, homo-asexual, etc. my question is if how can you call asexual a sexual orientation, but also have another sexual orientation.

im not a gay-bisexual, or a gay-heterosexual. i am gay. male - male gay. thats it. also, to those who use the word queer, admit it, most of you just are to insecure to use gay. all self-hating gays love to be called 'queer'. maybe it helps you sleep at night. or better, maybe your a pagan-anarchist-realist-asexual-queer.

Lauren said...

I'm a gay female. Lesbian. I don't really care what you call me, I'm a woman who is romantically, physically, emotionally and sexually attracted to only women.

However!

I totally believe that sexuality is fluid and different on many levels for many people.

Anonymous said...

About the asexual thing--
It isn't two sexual orientations, but rather the first is the romantic orientation and the second is the sexual orientation.

Therefore, if an asexual male was romantically inclined to males (but felt no sexual attraction to anyone), he might call himself a homo-romantic asexual or a gay-asexual.

There are also aromantic asexuals who don't feel romantic attraction to anyone.

Either way, asexuals can feel attraction romantically, just not sexually, and this is how define their preference in who they're open to dating.

Also, queer is often interpreted as a term to denote someone as non-heteronormative. Some asexuals do also ID as queer, and they aren't gay, nor self-hating.

One last thing: The question was, "How do you self-identify?" not, "What is your sexual orientation?"
Therefore, in this context, your comment about -ist people makes absolutely no sense.

Josh said...

interesting. i never thought that the word "queer" is meant for self hating gay people. when i first came across it, i thought it simply a synonym for gay. and i'm proud to have this label. it simply defines me as someone different from the homogeneous-ness of the heteroxual crowd.

i am a gay male. and i totally agree with Lauren that sexuality is fluid and dynamic. there were times before when i was attracted to women. but now, women gyrating on a dancefloor turn me off. i guess our sexuality and hence identity slowly evolve through life. (correct me if i'm wrong).

Queers United said...

josh - i don't know about "self hating" gays using the term "queer", i think the opposition to it being used is mostly generational because of its negative connotations in the past.

Dan Glenn said...

I think would have made a great poll as page eliment here. Blogger makes them easy to creat here. Check out the 'help' or email me if you desire. Anyway...

I've recently decided to embrace my entire sexual self and have now begun to identify as a queer (bisexual/gay - sexual histry: bisexual; orientation, gay)(birth gender/gender idenified)male.

Anonymous said...

I am a trans and I am very lonely. I live in california where you would think it might be easier to be accepeted than in other places, now i rarly leave my house but to go to the store. I'm imbarressed at how I've become.
If you want to lighten my spirits please call me 805-2589966

Queers United said...

Anonymous - please be proud of who you are, which is another beautiful soul on the planet.

There are some resources I would recommend.

The toll free Gay & Lesbian National Hotline
http://www.glnh.org/

Susan's Transgender Forum
http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php

Laura's Playground Trans Forum
http://www.lauras-playground.com/forums/index.php?

I welcome you to QU and encourage you to make a username and join our friendly, diverse and welcoming community.

Joie Mayfield said...

I am a gay male. :) It took me 21 years to finally come out of the closet. I've known that I was gay since I was 5 years old. ;) When I was 26, I finally came out! :) I've been incredibly happy ever since.

Nobody 08 said...

I identify as a lesbian, but I keep the way I look on the very edge of gender bending. I always wear guy clothes, I will not be caught dead in a dress ever again, and I rarely (if ever) wear make-up. And even then it's only some blush. Maybe. I don't really consider myself to be of either gender, but when people ask me, I just say girl. Have any of you seen those t-shirts that say "51% butch" on them? That's me. Although, I know that even the slimmest paper still has the side that can cut us, so I acknowledge and even admire the fact that there are many, many ways to express oneself, and that they are almost as unique as every diverse person on this planet, not even just by all the labels, but also by how the person desides to deal with it.

Queers United said...

Joie - I am happy to hear you have discovered and are happy with who you are.

Nobody 08 - Welcome! I haven't seen that shirt but it sounds neat.

Anonymous said...

Bisexual Questioning

(thank goodness I'm bi - it'd be horrible to have to... eep, work)

Isa said...

I'm a bisexual female, currently in a long-term relationship with a man.

Rowan MacBean said...

I am female-bodied. I don't identify as female, but I don't always identify as male, either. "Genderqueer" is the term I'm most comfortable with when others demand a label.

I'm aesthetically attracted to males and females and everything in between. When it comes to the purely visual, I lean toward the male-bodied, but in the end I'm attracted to people, not parts.

Queers United said...

cool, thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

I'm pansexual, monogamous and female. I tend not to use the term "pansexual" very often, since people don't know what it means around here.

The down side of not explaining is that I don't have the opportunity to share what I really think, or to help raise awareness of the diversity of sexual orientations.

imamirage said...

I'm a queer, radical ftm tranny. Sometimes I switch and say pansexual, but mostly it's just queer all the way.

Queers United said...

imamirage - isn't the queer part of sexuality and gender radical in itself? you specify "radical" which i find interesting, can you elaborate?

sword-etc said...

queer & genderqueer. in a female body.

Emery said...

daughter of two queer females, straight female.

Jim said...

I am a gay male trapped in the body of a gay male.

Pookie said...

When asked, I say lesbian female.
However...
I sometimes wonder if I am actually lesbian or if I'm bi, so perhaps I could be considered questioning. I've been married to a man, have two adult children, and can still admire the male form, but I feel nothing sexually toward them. Have been married to a total "stud" female (her term) for two years, and I'm perfectly happy with the idea of never sleeping with a man again, yet I can talk to my straight female co-workers about how good a man looks or smells... Perhaps "confused" instead of questioning?

Queers United said...

pookie welcome, it is great to see another queer vegan here!

Aiden said...

I identify my gender as male (ftm) and my sexuality as queer. I get weird looks sometimes when I say that but I generally explain it as I'm attracted to people who are cisgender as well as those of other gender expressions.

Anonymous said...

I think I am a flamboyantly gay guy trapped in a female body. Sexually I am only into men. Emotionally the only people who I see as being like me are gay men. If I did wake up in a male body tomorrow, I am sure I would gussie up in drag and be perfectly happy.

Anonymous said...

I'm am a huge closet case normally, but online I'm open. This is a great site!

Carmen said...

Bisexual female (pretty much at the end of the questioning phase) Not quite femme, but not quite butch either

SteadyCat said...

I probably id as a woman before I go into all the other stuff...black, lesbian, feminist, etc.

But orientation wise, I'm a lesbian.

I've just found this site and will browse away. Thanks

Shaijinx said...

Sexual orientation: soft butch lesbian.
Gender identity: female, but definately a tomboy. Baggy jeans, tshirt, sneakers or boots. I don't wear makeup and I wear my hair and nails short. I went to a transgender conference once and learned alot, most importantly that I have no inclination to be a man, just feel more comfortable in guy's clothes.Sorry about the late post but I just found your blog. I think its great!

glade said...

orientation: Lesbian
I have been married (man), long term relationship (woman) also. I have searched my self with that long soul looking stuff. I have found I am femme. I just want to be me. Labels are just that labels. I am in a relationship with a loving caring woman. I am not attracted to men...I do apolgize about the late post. I have read the entire blog. Learn some new terms which is good for me. Thanks to everyone.

Emily Lou said...

I have no idea. I find myself similar to 2 posts up...shaijinx. I am still learning about myself. I only came out even to myself a year ago. I feel very comfortable in men's clothing, even moerso than womens, but on the inside I loathe being the dominant partner and I've come across a lot of girly girls who really like me and expect me to be that. I've found a lot of butch women (I'/m exclusively attracted to them, in terms of women) who like girls more feminine. Argh.

But I'm bisexual. Bordering on adding on the queer or androgyne tag.

Emily Lou said...

IOf you're curious, or who anyone is, click on my name and I have a blog mI just started. All of my confusion gets posted there! I need all the help I can get.

Anonymous said...

I'm a straight female, but bi curious.

bramble-patch said...

At this point in my life, I identify as female, pansexual shading toward asexual. I'm only nineteen, though, and would not be surprised if my preferences changed at some time in the future.

Anonymous said...

I always find it strange to answer this question. I think deeply about it, and always come to the same conclusion:

Straight cisfemale.

Shauna Baggtt said...

Hello everyone, I am an Intersex partial female and male to Female transsexual, I am purely Lesbian. And I surely love who I am. Out & Proud

The Void said...

Hi, new here! Pansexual would probably be the most accurate word to describe my sexuality, but I identify as bisexual. People are confused enough at that, bless them.

Male, with some gender-bending tendencies like cross-dressing, but no urge to change my sex or identify as anything other than male.

Dan in CT said...

Hi, I have been following whats happening in CA. and throughout the country for awhile. I'm a 28 yr old straight male from CT and I support equal rights across the board. I wish you all the success in the world and look forward to being a part of any CT area protests/demonstrations.

Queers United said...

Dan thanks to your support as a straight ally, http://www.jointheimpact.com has one in Hartford.

Anonymous said...

Why do we have to be labeled as either "straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer, asexual, or questioning?" Why do we need labels? Most people don't fall quite neatly into one of these categories. Can anyone really say that they're 100% straight or 100% gay, or 50/50? So why do we need to make it all seem black or white or grey, when really it's all just black, white, and grey? Isn't there some term for people who just don't want to be filed into such categories? Ambisexual is a term I've heard before, but it's rather confusing, as the "ambi" is supposed to be for "ambiguous," however it more likely connotes "ambi" as in "ambidextrous," meaning "multiple. I have considered myself a gay man for a very long time, but occasionally sleep with women. I don't enjoy it nearly as much, but I've done it and may do it on occasion, which confused many people and causes them to label me as bisexual, which I am not. I will continue to date men avidly and will end up with one in the long run. The term "non-heterosexual" refers to men and women of that nature who are heterosexual but occasionally, while drunk or for whichever reason, sway towards the same sex, but putting a "non" in front of homosexual simply wouldn't suffice.

Maverick2464 said...

I am a gay male.

Anonymous said...

Hey everybody!! Just found this post. I find it quite interesting. Read some things I never heard of before. What's cisfemale? Thought I'd heard it all by now. Guess I was wrong. Lesbian here. Or gay woman if you like. Or queer if you must. I think it's weird how the word gay is reserved for men a lot of the time. Glad I found this site!! Take care!!

Drake said...

Hello- I've read this site several times & just felt like commenting. I recently moved back to a city.( Been in Bible Belt hicksburg for 13 years) I've been getting in touch with people I think I can relate to in said city now for a few months prior to moving here. I've kind of always felt quite male, but always got termed tomboy. Myself, within the past year? I identify as a gay male. I'm currently enclosed within tits. I think also, there's a bias- Pretty girls are never manly(hence guys find geeky mechanic, gamers hot) & manly girls are always lesbians & not pretty. I know plenty smoking hot lesbians, as does Hollywood. I personally could never pass well as a man- I'm way too Inara, not enough Mal(points if you got that.) Thank God I'm goth & therefore, androgyny is accepted. Now- to try to pass as male after gaining weight... that's the test. Anyone have any tips for ftm's- heavier?

Queers United said...

Drake - Thanks for posting, hopefully you join us in other convos too and don't just be a lurking stranger :) Welcome!

Ohmi Ohmy Sykes said...

Question... does Queer mean that you're lesbian or gay? Or what does it entail in dress/mannerisms etc. I've just been wondering.

Anonymous said...

I'm a bisexual and I self identify as female I think but I don't really like society's view on gender.

I think mentally the genders can be very similar I loath the importance put on gender. so I identify more as myself. Bisexual and carrie who just so happens to be female but my gender feels so irrelavant. I have no idea what tha classes me as gender wise.

trustons said...

pansexual genderqueer. I'm biologicly and mentally male. However I strongly oppose classic gender lables. What is male? What is female? I can look at myself and see a man but also recognize that I have characteristics that are classicly female. And I revel in that fact. For that reason I am genderqueer. I am attracted to people who would be labled as classic male. However, with every partner I have ever had I see that they are not just simply male. They are men, they are women. They have male parts, and they have female parts. In other words, lables are convenient ways of distracting us from who we really are.
(if we rely on them too heavily)

Anonymous said...

I'm a bisexual woman.

I am in a monogamous relationship with a man.

Paige said...

Um, the easiest way to label me would be 'genderqueer androgynous lesbian transgirl.'

It's not that simple of course. I've just realized I feel almost bigender...except both halves are just two very different women rolling around inside me. At times I'm very butchy (ironically developed after I came out as trans, not from old male behavior). I'm protective, comforting, loud, confrontational, and tough. And other times, I'm incredibly 'fluffy', cuddly, innocent, gentle, socially awkward and sheepish. I can be the world's biggest badass, but if my partner just gives me one lascivious look I start chewing on my lip and shuffling my feet and blushing.

As for sexual preference, I do tend to use the term lesbian, as it's pretty damn accurate, but there are some exceptions I guess. I'm attracted to femininity in all its myriad forms, not specifically women. My partner is a transgirl as well. I guess I could theoretically be attracted to a man as long as he was INCREDIBLY feminine. Masculinity does nothing for me.

Anonymous said...

Female, mainstream appearance and mannerisms. Usually ID myself as Gay but may use the word Lesbian at times.
I think innately I am bi-sexual, as in my body could respond to men if my mind would accept it :) I can 'adore" and "love" men individually and have occasionally felt mild attraction for those particular men.
But culturally and romantically I am purely lesbian.
I just linked to this site off another board and would normally avoid any participation in this type of conversation as it utterly confuses me, and things that are confusing are annoying.
But my beloved wife of 10yrs has issues that confuse her sometimes so I am staying here and looking around to see if I find something enlightening that gives her comfort. She has a naturally very masculine build ( aside from very obvious breasts ) and from childhood forward tailored her superficial mannerisms after male role models like her father. That was what seemed normal and comfortable to her.
Thus she appears extremely butch to people, even though she really isn't on the inside.
She is deeply and firmly feminine in her soul and has no desire to be male.
It hurts her feelings when people call her Sir and I know that she is quietly sad that her feminine soul doesn't manifest in her natural appearance and mannerisms as most people think it should.
I don't know if any of that made sense..I guess I just mean that it hurts because to me she is beautiful and natural and she shouldn't have to feel like there is anything wrong with her self. It kind of pisses me off.

Anonymous said...

Female Pansexual. With a tendency towards women.

Anonymous said...

I usually just say I am queer, but may also say gay or faggot. Who cares, it's just a word ... but I am a homosexual male, quite comfortable with who I am, after first denying and then accepting myself in the mid-20's.

Anonymous said...

I'm a female and I am straight. Usually. But then sometimes I think romantically about females too. However, I dont want to be sexually involved with them. Hmmm... SO wat does that make me?

Anonymous said...

I am in total agreement with the person above me. I would, however, identify as a questioning female.

chronicbliss said...

Technically I guess I am a pansexual woman in a monogamous marriage to a hetero man. But most of the people I meet only know gay,bi, or straight so to them I'd be bi. And I don't like all the preconcieved notions people have of what bisexual means, like bi girls are all either the 3way princesses of the porno world, gay women still in denial, or straights going through an experimental phase. So I just call myself a halfdyke and leave it at that.

freethinker said...

I am a 'biological male', a 'homosexual', have 'feminine' tendencies, but identify with neither men or women so not really transgendered.

I am my own gender.

Anonymous said...

Dang, I am at a loss to what I am!!

I started out feeling straight, but wanted to "take care of my friends that were female" protect them, you know, LOL. I dated tons of guys, but was very phobic of the visual part of being male..married a guy because I was supossed to..stayed 10 misserable years with him..left for a woman I had met one week after we married and carried in my heart for years after we lost touch..only to find her again!! It ened and I realized I was not bisexual at all, but loved LOVED women!! Dated a ton, lived with a few..met a transexual FtM..who I thought had made a mistake (smile) and we got together..22 years later we are still together and he did not make a mistake..I did, as much as I love him, he is a foreign country and I wish he could be the female he was born to..gets worse..go figure..my ex husband feels female and almost transgendered, but his rather born again beliefs stopped him..so here I am, 61 years old..still not sure who I am!!

OK, I am queer, a femme in that I am only attracted to dyke butch women. I am a lesbian and my mind set revolves around woman..all woman, not just the few I might be attracted to. I like some men, even love some..but am attracted to none.
I will never leave my partner, but damned if I know how I got here!!

Anonymous said...

needgod dot com I love you guys and I want you guys to know what I know. Thanks Please go to the site.

Anonymous said...

Emotionally bisexual but heterosexually asexual...
In other words, I can be emotionally attracted to male and females (and the occasional androgyny, I suppose too) yet in general I am only ever physically/sexually attracted to females. I am female. I look and dress female. I wear dresses, skirts, make-up, etc. but I have very male characteristics. Gender tests always tell me I'm male.

Anonymous said...

I just found this site today, and I'm glad I did!

I am usually percieved as a heterosexual female, though I would consider myself pansexual, being attracted to mostly males, and a (somewhat large) handful of women and transgendered people here and there.

As for gender, I'm biologically female and don't wish to change that. I've always wished I were more masculine, and had the guts to be more butch. But hey, make-up just makes me look better!

Joe in Philly said...

Gay and male.

Patricia Harlow said...

Lesbian Transsexual

desikitteh said...

sexual orientation: polyamorous pansexual. gender/sex aren't what attracts me.

gender identity: i use ?-gendered. my gender identity is fluid and i've still not really come to grips with it.

kopite said...

Lesbian

Anonymous said...

I feel most people are innately "bisexual" though some of use have a stronger attraction for one sex or the other or both equally.

I hate labels, but we live in a society that created the closet, and in that close is a variety of items like the LGBTQ Community, thank the church for that, and we're tired of hiding in that closet and here we are.

I feel the term "Gay Community" includes all these people, but some like to label them differently [LGBTQ].

I label myself "Gay" male [I some times refer to our Lesbian sisters as "Gay"], though I have bisexual tendencies, I'm a person that has always wanted a stronger longe term relationship, and being "bisexual" wouldn't give me that life long term relationship without having a desire for the opposit sex. Thankfully, I'm attracted mostly to people of the same sex, though I do have an attraction for some women, I prefer to be labeled as "Gay."

This is why I feel people that say you can convert from being "homosexual" to "heterosexual" is a sham!

If a person is innately bisexual, sure he or she can marry can marry someone of the opposit sex, but most of us have an innately stronger attraction toward some one of the same sex [of course some not at all], and if a male who marries some one of the opposit sex, yet has a stronger attraction toward males he's fooling himself, and thats not converstion. Their just hiding in the closet again...pretending that everything is okay, and their more likely to be unhappy inside themselves.

Anonymous said...

When I was younger everyone that was "homosexual" or even "transsexual" people were all inclusive to being "Gay" in my eyes, we're a whole community because of the persecution that brought us to this place.

Then more labellings came along, but I still refer to "homosexual" men and women as being "Gay" and those that like to jump between both sexes as being Bi...

Anonymous said...

bisexual and polyamorous male

Anonymous said...

I've always been attracted to men since I was a kid, and I didn't know why!

I didn't know any gay people, and didn't grow up around any gay people. Their was one guy in my school who used to get teased, but that was all I knew. I was a virgin most of my teen life, and then I found "god" and served him for four years in a very strict apostolic teachings, and all that time I still had an natural attraction for men, that not even "god" could have changed.

I left the church do to hypocrisy, but in college I met a girl who I loved, but I still had that strong attraction toward men deep inside my spirit. I left to serve in our military, and that was when I had my first gay relationship, and I was at aw about it when I found our gay community which made me feel free!

Thank the Goddess of Great Nature for accepting me for who I am!

People, if you are the spiritual type, don't go to a religion that does not accept you completely as you are, there are many paths we can take. There are several that teach equality in it's doctrine. Just leave them and find a better path for yourself.

NurseRatched said...

I am a straight female with very queer politics.

FlowerFaerie087 said...

Lesbian. Or gay, whatever word I happen to use at the time.

I mean no offense but some people are just clearly being ridiculous. I hate this culture that being gay is all about sex. It's about having a normal life of which sex is a part but you don't *need* to do crazy things if you don't want to. That's what makes everybody hate us; these idiots who keep up the stereotype because they don't know how else to deal with it.

I know someone who claims to be a 'polyamorous pansexual FTM transgender male' and I'm sorry but it's actually taking the piss. x

queersome said...

female, queer, would love to genderbend/-fuck but I've got these damn hips getting in the way of androgyny ;)

Anonymous said...

i am a bisexual male

although pansexual would be a better fit

Lady of the Ozarks said...

I identify as a female lesbian. I fell in love with someone who happens to be a man. I fell in love with him in spite of his gender, not because of it. I just say I'm bisexual because I'm sick of arguing with people about how I identify.

Quinn said...

I am a gay male, while I like the political concept of queer I have not personally been able to get over the derogatory connotations that it carried growing up in the 80's

Mónica said...

I identify myself as a LESBIAN FEMALE. I respect every human in the world, no matter what the sexual orientation or the gender identity is. In what calls to myself, I love being a woman, dress and think like a woman (I'm not very femme though, but I'm not butch either. I just love jeans, black tennis shoes and tshirts hahaha), and the same I love BEING a woman, I love as well BEING WITH a woman. cheers!

Anonymous said...

I guess I really don't understand sexual orientation. After 22 years of identifying myself as a lesbian and in a committed relationship for 21 of those years. I'm physically not attracted to women at all. I'm much more attracted to men, sexually. But emotionally, psychologically I am woman-identified. In spite of not being physically attracted to women, I've ONLY been orgasmic with female sex partners. So....like I said, I'm totally confused. Feeling quite torn up about this recently, for reasons I won't take up time & space with on a public forum.

Ali said...

gay male here

bob said...

I'm a submissive pansexual male. I kinda would want to be a girl, but only for the fact that I like the female body shape more (especially the feet).

Judie said...

I've thought about this much over the past few years. As a 60 yr old female, I have had 4 significant relationships (years of monogamy)- 2 w/women (always butch) and 2 w/men (always bear like), yet I am not a particularly feminine woman. I am very self-sufficient and my son refers to me as a lipstick lesbian or a fellagirl, but no one would ever look at me and think anything other than hetero. I always said I was bi but believe myself to truly be pansexual. Fun fact: my 24 yr old son is gay and we often find ourselves attracted to the same people!

Giselle Renarde said...

I identify as queer or lesbian. Let's say it's my insecurity that drives me to identify more often as "queer" when I'm around other lesbians. Straight people don't make me insecure, so I identify more often as "lesbian" around them...and "one of the nice ones." My girlfriend HATES the word "queer" so it's "lesbian" around her, but when I came out to my mother, I used the word "queer."

Was that answer convoluted enought for you? LOL

Gender identity is female with a certain amount of dysphoria at times. Little bit of genderqueerness there.

Hugs,
gigi

truthspew said...

I identify as a gay male.

Anonymous said...

To the LGBT world I would probably identify as a bisexual asexual male: anatomically and mentally I am male, I am more attracted to females than males, and during my lifetime have only had sex a couple of times (excluding sex with myself).

Since this might be awkward for straights to understand, when asked I might answer vaguely 'I am somewhere in between' without getting into much details.

Firebolt said...

I'm just another queer genderqueer kid. :)

adrianap112233 said...

I'm almost 18 and I've called myself a bisexual for a while now but I feel that pansexual fits me better too.
I'm not blind, I see different sexes but I just don't think they matter all that much to me. :)

~the singing girl

Anonymous said...

Good question!
I usually identify as queer in general, more specifically as asexual lesbian.
In terms of gender, I present physically as woman, mentally more as genderqueer.

Anonymous said...

Same gender loving male.

Anonymous said...

Generally: Queer Woman
Specifically: Asexual Lesbian
More specific gender: present physically as woman, mentally closer to genderqueer

JPrintup said...

I am a biologically assigned female who identifies as a man and am in the early stages of transitioning. With an exception in High School (so I did not get beaten up), I have only been involved with females/women -- am attracted to femininity. To most people I must look like a butch Lesbian, yet a few people know the truth.

I find it increasingly discouraging to have to choose a "sex" on informational paperwork where I have to choose just one. For the most part there are only two choices and I am not really comfortable choosing either one. I have started choosing "male" as this is my goal just not a reality.

Maria said...

bisexual/queer woman, gender identity is fluid between female and androgyne

KC the MoUsY spell-checker said...

Aromantic asexual female.

Suechan said...

I'm a prude... with stron bisexual tendencies (if I weren't so prudish, I'd actually DO something about it) and female. I guess my sexual preference is love.

traduit said...

Orientation-wise: I ID as queer/pansexual depending on the level of detail I want to go into. :P

Sex-wise: I ID as pre-anything female-to-not-female, or neutrois. Neither of which generally makes much sense to people. XD

Gender-wise: Not sure yet. Androgynous, genderqueer, definitely not man or woman.

(Had to divide up sex/gender, 'cause I really am only sure of the one. XD)

Anonymous said...

A bisexual mtf transexual in a committed relationship with my bisexual girlfriend/partner that most view us as a lesbian couple.

Anonymous said...

Female straight romantic asexual. I'm married to a straight sexual male.

I like Suechan's answer, and I would also say that my "sexual preference" is love, as well. For many years, I fell in love with unavailable men, just to have the romance without the sex.

Since meeting my husband, sex has been, for me, an expression of love and intimacy. I have no real physical reaction to it...never did.

Leah said...

pansexual female

Anonymous said...

Bisexual female

Anonymous said...

I am glad this forum exists. My name for the record is Glenda and my little tale of woe is above, November 28, at 1:55 as Anonymous. I hope I can find some conversation mates on here. I do have resources at home but all my friends, without exception, are coupled and comfortable with where they are. I find myself reluctant to discuss my questioning with them. Hope you all are experiencing a great Thanksgiving weekend which is a mini-break for us academics!

RobertSanDimas said...

I'm a 100% gay man with a gay partner, both pushing 70. We want to be married here in CA someday. I've never felt anything but gay - never wished I was anything but the man I am.

Rawrdom said...

How do I identify? Well...
Generally: A person.
Specifically: A pan-romantic, monogamous, asexual genderqueer. :P

(Really, all I want is someone to love.)

Anonymous said...

I identify as queer in both gender and sexual orientation. I'm also asexual.

CityOfTheCentury said...

Wow! What a great forum. This 44-year old gay male (from day #1) is sure learning a lot more than I ever did before about the blurring of categories and labels. Thanks to all of you for the enlightenment. As my grandfather always jokingly said, "You'll learn something new every day if you're not careful."

Larry said...

Gay male here, happily monogamously partnered with another gay male.

Anonymous said...

Asexual female

Anonymous said...

I will use this graph

MALE_______________________________________FEMALE

So, what was I born as:

MALE__________________________________________ME

What Gender do I identify as?

MALE__________________________ME___________FEMALE

What am I attracted to?

ME_ME_ME_ME_ME_ME_ME_ME_ME_ME_ME_ME_ME_ME_ME_ME_ME


Dat clear?

Lydia

Anonymous said...

lesbian female

Post a Comment