Saturday, September 19, 2009

Open Forum: Heterosexuals Waiting for Gay Marriage

There have been a slew of straight celebrities lately such as Brad Pitt, Charlize Theron, Mehcad Brooks, and Angelina Jolie who is bisexual but in a relationship with a man, among others who refuse to marry until LGBT's can as well. There are also many regular folks out there who are boycotting marriage until the institution is open to all who wish to be legally recognized.

What do you make of this tactic? Are these people just avoiding marriage and using it as an opportunity to look good, or are they sincere? Should straight people avoid marriage, or should we encourage people who can get married to do so while still fighting for the rights for the rest of us? or do you believe we should all just get off this marriage bandwagon and focus on other issues?

8 comments:

Muy Mona said...

I'm sure there are people who use the opportunity to kill two birds with one stone, if I may, but even so, I think this could help marriage equality significantly. If nothing else, celebrities will make hate "so last season."

I've very much fallen into the ideals of National Marriage Boycott, which I became aware of through your site, in thinking straight couples and gay couples in the handful of allowing states should boycott marriage to draw the attention of their representatives and help repeal DOMA. Bridal shops, etc., would have no choice but to make their voices heard and support all marriages if they'd like to stay in business, assuming enough people stop marrying.

Laura said...

Hey hey! If you like this idea, join the National Marriage Boycott --
http://www.nationalmarriageboycott.com

Wear an Equality Ring as a symbol of your pledge or take off your wedding ring & wear the Equality Ring.

Amy K. said...

It's up to them, of course. How much of a sacrifice this is, naturally depends on the individual. Does it help the cause of gay marriage? I believe it might get gay marriage into the public spotlight even more than it is, and encourage others to support the cause in their own ways.

Nox said...

considering the people mentioned... I'd call it a convenient excuse, spun for some mild publicity with low risk of upsetting anyone (not to mention the bonus fan prop of being "officially" available.) It's not as if there are people lining up to urge a bunch of celebs into a marriage that probably won't last as long as their next movie contract, or that it will really affect anyone besides their wedding planners.

Queers United said...

I think celebrities don't view marriage the same way, financially they are set so they don't need marriage in that sense and so they can afford waiting. I found the regular straight couples who wait to be admirable because they stand on conviction and it actually affects their lives.

Anonymous said...

I find it somewhat insulting to be told that my boycott of the institution of marriage (until everyone who wants to be married are able to do so) is "a tactic". And just HOW would that serve me? I'm not a celebrity, and my partner and I have been living together for years. It would be so much easier, for so many reasons, to just get married. The fact that we do not, out of Love and Solidarity to our queer loved ones, certainly isn't an attempt to "look good".

Dara Laine said...

I think that celebrities are killing two birds with one stone. They are using their public status to make a political statement, while also avoiding getting married. (lots of good points already made about this)

I believe that people should or can still get married, but maybe include a statement in their ceremony that says that while their marriage celebrates their love etc. etc. they also believe that all people, regardless of who they love should have the right to get married and maybe ask people to donate to an organization that fights for equal marriage.

Anonymous said...

As a poor young straight ally student, I wouldn't have plans to get married any time soon either way. I regret this, in a way, because I think that my statement would be that much more meaningful, and a lot less idealistic talk. Nonetheless, I wear my ring every day (I'm getting a nice tan), and I don't plan to take it off until there is full marriage equality...whether that takes a day, a year, or a lifetime. My favorite part of wearing the highly visible "EQUALITY" ring is that it is a constant reminder of what we are fighting for, and it is also a REALLY good way to start conversations about marriage equality and LGBT(etc) acceptance (people ask about the ring ALL the time), particularly because it can be difficult to find ways to bring up the subject. That doesn't fully answer the question, but it's just some of my observations about the practical effects it has for me as a participant.

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