Diversity Lesson 101: LGBT Seniors - Hardships, Struggles, and Pride

Alienation:
Many LGBT elders are faced with feelings of loneliness, and suffer alienation from within their communities. The struggles and experiences are unique and range from having lived an entire life in the closet or being left widowed and without a partner or a support system due to the governments failure to recognize our partnerships.

Ageism in Society and the Gay Community:
Ageism is a serious problem in our society in general with explicit and sometimes unconscious discrimination and stereotyping of middle aged and and elderly people. The gay community views anyone over the age of 35 as a senior, and as a result it has a strong impact for people searching for the fountain of youth, and makes it harder for older gays to maintain a good sense of self-esteem.

Coming Out:
LGBT elders, it doesn't cross peoples minds that the individual may have been a lifelong gay activist or have a partner. The elderly LGBT person needs to continue coming out in a society that sees gay identity as sexual, and dismisses the notion that elderly people also have sexual identity and sexuality. Many LGBT elders have lived their life in silence, never being true to themselves, and face the hardship of coming out at an old age. Our society today is much more open and affirming of LGBT people, with most coming out resources aimed at youth, and little in the way of assistance for the elderly who have been closeted and seek to be free in their respective identities.

Lack of independence:
LGBT elders often face a lack of independence either with a nurse aid, or in a nursing home or hospice. Being under the care of others and not having true independence makes living out your identity or coming to terms with it more of a struggle.

Non-accepting environment:
While of course LGBT seniors are not going to be subject to schoolyard taunts many are placed in an environment with fellow seniors who have been part of the society that has ridiculed them and sought to pathologize their lives. Can you imagine what it must be like to be an out and proud member of the community who suddenly gets thrust back into an environment with those who do not understand, are not accepting, or worse are disgusted and morally opposed by your "lifestyle".

Transgender Elderly:
The LGBT seniors who have already transitioned into their appropriate gender face the difficulty not only of acceptance from a generation that does not understand gender issues, but also the financial cost of keeping up with hormones and some medical routines that some trans people choose to undergo. The senior who is just coming to terms with being transgender having never even known of the concept faces the hard task of self acceptance, societal acceptance, and the lack of information out there for LGBT elders.

Rainbow Senior Pride:
Even in the face of all the roadblocks faced by queer elders there are some wonderful things that this sub-section of the community can be proud of. For one, their generation represents the very face of the gay liberation movement, the old drag queens who stood up to police brutality at Stonewall, the gays and lesbians demanding change from within the system of oppression, and organizing a powerful and dedicated constituency organized for social justice and change. It is the queer elders of today who organized the groups such as The Mattachine Society, The Gay Liberation Front, The Daughters of Bilitis, and so many other early groups that fought for freedoms for sexual minorities.

Books of Interest:
The Changing Of The Guard: Lesbian And Gay Elders, Identity, And Social Change
by Dana Rosenfeld

Gay and Gray: The Older Homosexual Man by Raymond Berger

Village Elders photobook by Penny Coleman

Dyke Life: From Growing Up To Growing Old, A Celebration Of The Lesbian Experience by Karla Jay.

Sociological Analysis of Aging: The Gay Male Perspective by J. Michael Cruz

Long Time Passing: Lives of older lesbians by Marcy Adelman

Gay and Lesbian Aging: Research and Future Directions by Gilbert Herdt

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Aging: Research and Clinical Perspectives by Douglas Kimmel

LGBT Assisted Living/Retirement Homes:
http://www.rainbowvisionprop.com/

http://www.flock2it.com/

http://www.carefreecove.homestead.com

http://www.gleh.org/

Links/Resources:
http://www.sageusa.org">Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders

LGBT Aging Issues Network

Old Lesbians Organizing for Change

Gay and Lesbian Association of Retiring Persons


Videos:

Fountaingrove Lodge, LGBTQ Senior Community Needs Your Support!

Save the Date: Support LGBTQ Senior Community on Feb. 3rd

Fountaingrove Lodge, California’s first LGBTQ Senior Community, needs your help! Please mark your calendar to attend this meeting in support of its construction, which has been stagnated by opposing neighbors.

February 3, 2008 3:30PM
Santa Rosa City Council Meeting
90 Santa Rosa Avenue, Santa Rosa, CA

More information: www.fountaingrovelodge.com…

Crossposted via Lavender Newswire

Ten More Good Years

Ten More Good Years is a new documentary being featured on the queer channel LOGO. This short but moving film features a few LGBT elders who are struggling to get by in a hostile world. The film shows the struggles of being a queer senior in nursing homes, and being around people who don't understand or accept of alternative sexuality or gender.

It is very heart warming to see these kind people going about their lives and sharing their stories. It is also very shocking and sad to see the people who began the movement for LGBT liberation being forced back into the closets they so proudly broke out of decades ago.

Open Forum: LGBT Youth & Seniors - Parallel Struggle?

There seem to be quite a number of parallels faced by LGBT youth and seniors. It's interesting to note that while one group is just starting out in life and the other is close to retiring they face similar issues and struggles with regards to their respective identities. I'd like to examine a few of the issues I see as parallels and would also welcome anyone elses thoughts and/or additions.

Being Alone:

Many LGBT youth are not out of the closet and live in a world of fear and sadness, unable to express their true identity. They long for a girlfriend or boyfriend for whom they can love. Similarly many LGBT elders are also alone, either having lived an entire life in the closet or being left widowed and without a partner or a support system.

Coming Out:

Every LGBT youth faces the struggle of coming out of the closet. They are faced with questions of their own sexuality and gender identity and also have to question whether their friends and family will be supportive. In our heterosexist society, it is assumed that you are heterosexual unless you say otherwise. The same goes for LGBT elders, it doesn't cross peoples minds that the individual may have been a lifelong gay activist or have a partner, the youth and the LGBT elder both have to engage in the coming out process within their respective environments.

Lack of Independence:

Many if not most LGBT youth and elders lack true independence because they rely on the care of others. LGBT youth are under the care of their parents, or in a foster home and thus are subject to a set of rules and standards by which they are to live by. LGBT elders often face a similar situation either with a nurse aid, or in a nursing home or hospice. Being under the care of others and not having true independence makes living out your identity or coming to terms with it more of a struggle.

Living in a Non-Accepting Environment:

Another parallel between youth and seniors is the fact that in many cases both live out their daily lives in a tough and non-accepting environment. Everyone knows from their own childhood that kids can be brutal, there is a lot of bullying and teasing that goes on. While of course LGBT seniors are not going to be subject to schoolyard taunts many are placed in an environment with fellow seniors who have been part of the society that has ridiculed them and sought to pathologize their lives. Can you imagine what it must be like to be an out and proud member of the community who suddenly gets thrust back into an environment with those who do not understand, are not accepting, or worse are disgusted and morally opposed by your "lifestyle".

Being Transgender.

It goes without saying that being transgender or gender variant is a struggle at any given point in life. I think it probably is the hardest on the trans youth and elders. The transgender youth faces the struggle of coming to terms with their gender identity and then coming out to others and seeking assistance to live their lives in conjunction with their true identity. The LGBT seniors who have already transitioned into their appropriate gender face the difficulty not only of acceptance from a generation that does not understand gender issues, but also the financial cost of keeping up with hormones and some medical routines that some trans people choose to undergo. The senior who is just coming to terms with being transgender having never even known of the concept faces the hard task of self acceptance, societal acceptance, and the lack of information out there for LGBT elders.

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It seems that whether we are just beginning our life journey or are close to our retiring ages that LGBT youth and elders face a lot of similar struggles. It seems like a really unfair system that is changing slowly over time. I think this goes to show that we must be engaged in activism towards all ages in the lifespan, because whether young, middle-aged, or old, we face some of the same struggles in a unique fashion.