Open Forum: Is It Wrong to Say 'Gay Marriage'?

Are marriage equality advocates unintentionally using self defeating terminology in the fight for broader civil rights for the LGBT community? The vast majority of the community consistently argues that civil unions are a separate and unequal institution from that of civil marriage. The argument is that queer people should have all of the same rights and responsibilities that come with government sanctioned recognition of our relationships and that includes the vocabulary used to describe that union.

The idea that heterosexuals should have sole access to marriage while LGBT people can have civil unions or some other form of contractual agreement feeds into the notion that somehow our relationships and bonds are not equal to that of a male/female couple. This serves to reinforce the idea that being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender is somehow inferior to being a cisgender heterosexual.

Queer activists certainly do not subscribe to the heteronormative thinking that being LGBT is inferior or less than in any way. Is it possible that by virtue of our arguments in favor of equal protections that we are diminishing our chance and giving credence to the anti-gay oppositions notion that we are indeed so different that we cannot be treated the same?

When discussing the issue of marriage and how the institution should evolve moving forward we often speak of the term 'gay marriage.' If we are arguing that our love is the same and we are entitled to equal protection should we by default of our terminology be segregating ourselves by using 'gay marriage' as opposed to just saying marriage or marriage equality? 'Gay marriage' would just be regular marriage and perhaps the idea behind it scares people that somehow this institution is changing and expanding when it only would remain the same yet more inclusive.

What are your thoughts?

Word of the Gay: "Isosexual"

"Isosexual" was proposed as a term to describe gays and lesbians because it is defined as characteristic of or pertaining to the same-sex. It was meant to be used as a substitute for what was seen as female exclusion in the term homosexuality, the term however never caught on.

Word of the Gay: "Amphigenic Invert"

An "amphigenic invert" is a term created by psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud to indicate someone who is equally attracted to people of the same and opposite sex.

Word of the Gay: "Gaymarry"

"Gaymarry" has been a buzzword of 2009 meaning to marry someone of the same sex.

Open Forum: Sexualism Versus Homophobia

In recent years there has been a linguistic movement by some academics against using the term homophobia and replacing it with terms like sexualism or sexual prejudice which are considered broader and more appropriate with the growing list of sexual and gender self identifications.

For one the definition of homophobia is a fear of homosexuals or homosexual orientation, which is not true of all anti-gay people. The common line from so called "homophobes" is that "they have no issue with homosexuals, and even have homosexual friends" when defending their dislike or opposition to queer rights. The other dilemma is that many people associate homophobia as being exclusive to the discussion of gay and lesbian orientation, while leaving out bisexuals and transgender minorities.

Sexualism or sexual prejudice is the predisposition to thinking heterosexuality is the only norm, it is the concept of consciously embracing heteronormativity although is not synonymous with the term.

What do you make of the whole idea of bedding the term homophobia for something more inclusive such as sexualism or sexual prejudice? Does this term unfairly exclude transgender people whose discrimination against them is on the basis of gender or should gender issues have a separate word like transphobia or transsexual prejudice?

Word of the Gay: "Bitch's Christmas"

The term a "Bitch's Christmas" refers to Halloween, October 31st which has become a gay holiday of sorts filled with drag and costume parties.

Open Forum: LGBTQAIZ5123?

Labels for the community have been evolving and continue to evolve to this day. It started with "Gay" which included same-sex attracted males and females, then it branched out to include "Lesbians" as their own separate label. Over time other movements like the "Bisexuals" and "Transgender" populations joined in under the acronym "GLBT". The acronym was thought to be biased towards the "G" and hence the more popularized acronym became "LGBT". Now we see movement to change the acronym so that perhaps the "B" or "T" come before the "L" or the "G" in the sequence of the letters to be more reflective of an inclusive community.

Just when you thought the whole "LGBT" or is it "GLBT" drama was settled we now have new movements boarding the sexual/gender minority bandwagon. "Queer" people who reject the notion that sexuality is fixed and who don't attach binaristic labels want "Q" added to the ever long list of letters in the acronym. People who are "Questioning" their sexuality or are curious want the "Q" to represent the term "Questioning". "Intersex" people don't want to be lumped under the "Transgender" umbrella and want the "I" added to the list. "Asexuals" want to be recognized as a legitimate sexual orientation and have "A" added to the list. "A" has also been representative of those who consider themselves "Allies" to the community.

So we already have a long and varied list with letters overlapping for different communities who want representation. Confusing huh? Well there are also movements by "Polyamorous" families, fetish groups, "Pansexuals", "Two-spirits", and others who want to be part of the acronym.

How far do we go with the acronym, is the label "LGBT" fair and inclusive? Or should we come up with a new term to describe all of these sexual/gender minorities. Is Queer too broad and open so that if we use it nobody will know what we are talking about? Share your thoughts on this ever growing and evolving debate...

Word of the Gay: "Queeriage"

"Queeriage" is a term used by some who want to distinguish between marriages performed for same-sex couples and opposite-sex couples. People who use the term may be opposed to same-sex marriage, or support the extension of rights and benefits of civil marriage but want a linguistic means of differentiating the ceremony from heterosexual marriages.

Word of the Gay: "Hermaphroditus Verus"

"Hermaphroditus Verus" is a medical term for intersex people possessing both male and female gonads.

Word of the Gay: "Bi Bar"

A "bi bar" is a bar that is patronized primarily by bisexual or bi friendly people.

Activist Tip: Reclaim Distorted Phrases

Anti-gay foes and conservatives have co-opted many words and distorted their true meaning. It is time to reclaim these terms, and bring truth not distortion to our language.

"Family Values" - We are proud to be a family values website, we are very concerned with the future of the family unit. We support the right of families whether they be queer headed households or heterosexual, we firmly stand behind these loving couples and their children.

"Activist Judges" - Judges who uphold the rights of minorities and seek to expand rights not eliminate them are staying true to the constitution. It those conservative judges who seek to amend the constitution to take away rights, and those who violate the law who are activist judges who seek to further their own radical religious agenda.

"Marriage Protection" - Advocates of equality are all about protecting marriage. We want to ensure that gay and lesbian couples have equal access to this cherished institution. While much of the country is marrying for money and looks, and divorcing at alarming rates, we want to strengthen the institution of marriage.

"Values Voters" - We are values voters, we go to the ballot box with our morals and values in mind when we decide on a candidate, and an issue. The difference is we open our minds, hearts, and vote based on equality, liberty and justice for all.

"San Francisco Values" - This term is used to insinuate how supposedly outlandish the radical hippies "homosexual & abortionist advocates" are. We do not have to be ashamed to espouse views, nor be degraded for believing in the constitution which declares a right to privacy, a right for all people to be treated equally.

I encourage you all to take back these terms from the activist linguists out there. It is about time that pro-equality folks, use words that truly represent what we are trying to accomplish, don't hesitate to use these words, and be clear on your intent when using them.

Word of the Gay: "Other Half"

The term "other half" can describe a close emotional and/or romantic relationship with someone.

Word of the Gay: "QPOC"

"QPOC" stands for Queer People of Color and is used to discuss LGBTQ individuals in communities of color or as an abbreviated term for an organization or cause representing them.

Word of the Gay: "Ace"

"Ace" is another way of saying asexual, and is a word play on the card the "Ace" of Spades.

Word of the Gay: "Bi-Trade"

"Bi-trade" is a name for bisexual prostitution.

Word of the Gay: "Marriage of Convenience"

A "marriage of convenience" is a term that can be used to describe one or both partners decision to hide their homosexuality while appearing to be in a heterosexual marriage.

Word of the Gay: "Aphallia"

"Aphallia" is a medical term used to describe some intersex people who do not have a penis or clitoris.

Word of the Gay: "Bromance"

A "bromance" is a non-sexual affectionate relationship between two males, where they appear as a couple. It is expressed physically through wrestling, nuggies, and head locks. In rarer instances hugging, snuggling, spooning, and even kissing.

Word of the Gay: "Realness"

"Realness" is a term used for the ability of a transgender person to pass as the opposite sex. The term is also often used in drag balls where there are categories to judge a persons "realness."

Word of the Gay: "Genderphobia"

"Genderphobia" is the fear and/or hatred of gender variant individuals. These can consist of a dislike for cross-dressers, transsexuals, or any degree of gender bending. The term is synonymous with transphobia.