Word of the Gay: "Breeder Voyeur"

"Breeder Voyeur" is a disparaging term for a heterosexual who attends a gay bar or event in order to observe queer life and culture.

Word of the Gay: "Fruit Picker"

A "fruit picker" is a straight man who on occasion enjoys the company of gay men. The term was also used in the 90's to describe a gay gathering place, where you could pick a fruit aka gay man of choice.

Word of the Gay: "Dash"

A "dash" is someone who does not self identify as gay/bi but is open to experimenting with same-sex behavior. The more popular and well known term for this behavior is bi-curious.

The Heterosexual Questionnaire

The Heterosexual Questionnaire was created back in 1972 to put heterosexual people in the shoes of a gay person for just a moment. Questions and assumptions made of Gays and Lesbians that are unfair, are reversed and this time asked to the straight people.

This is a fun survey, but also an activist survey. Please repost this to your email list, myspace bulletin, use it in a group setting, have fun with it but also let the point be made.

1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

2. When and where did you decide you were a heterosexual?

3. Is it possible this is just a phase and you will out grow it?

4. Is it possible that your sexual orientation has stemmed from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

5. Do your parents know you are straight? Do your friends know- how did they react?

6. If you have never slept with a person of the same sex, is it just possible that all you need is a good gay lover?

7. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality... can’t you just be who you are and keep it quiet?

8. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

9. Why do heterosexuals try to recruit others into this lifestyle?

10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual... Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual teachers?

11. Just what do men and women do in bed together? How can they truly know how to please each other, being so anatomically different?

12. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

13. How can you become a whole person if you limit yourself to compulsive, exclusive heterosexuality?

14. Considering the menace of overpopulation how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?

15. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don't you feel that he or she might be inclined to influence you in the direction of his orher leanings?

16. There seem to very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to.

17. Have you considered trying aversion therapy?

- Martin Rochlin, Ph.D., 1972

Word of the Gay: "Spaghetti Girl"

"Spaghetti girl" is a term used among the lesbian and bisexual community to refer to a straight woman who doesn't know she has the potential to like females till one gets her wet. The joke being that the food spaghetti is straight, until soaked in water and gets wet.

"Tell 3 Campaign" - Coming Out Isn't Enough!

The "Tell 3" campaign is being run by Equality California in an attempt to create awareness about LGBT people, our lives, and our fight for equality. The premise of the campaign is that coming out is simply not enough to win us equal rights, we must do more, we need to be proactive and speak out about why these issues are important to us. "Tell 3" is urging us to speak about LGBT issues with 3 straight people, specifically people who don't undertstand and are not necessarily allied with our movement.

Goto http://www.tell-three.org to learn more, get materials, and spread the word!

Word of the Gay: "Bromance"

A "bromance" is a non-sexual affectionate relationship between two males, where they appear as a couple. It is expressed physically through wrestling, nuggies, and head locks. In rarer instances hugging, snuggling, spooning, and even kissing.

Open Forum: Does Gay Marriage Threaten Straight Identity?

In most progressive nations people support some form of legal recognition of same-sex relationships whether it be civil unions or domestic partnerships, but they outright reject the notion of providing marriage to gay and lesbian couples. Obviously something about granting marriage rights to same-sex couples threatens their world view.

Do self sufficient lesbians threaten the roles of the stereotypical "housewife" and the "man of the house" status. Does this whole notion of women's liberation in the sense that a woman need not be dependent on a man, not only threaten the mans macho self image, but also challenge the traditional "housewife" to reconsider her subservient role?

Do effeminate gay men represent a loss among straight men for their image of male supremacy and masculinity? Perhaps, marriage for these men would be an indicator of acceptance of them, and in order to preserve the "male image" femme men cannot be accepted or even tolerated under any circumstance.

Is there an irrational fear that children being raised by same-sex parents may grow up open-minded or even explorative of their own sexualities. The more homosexual people there are, the fear of a destruction of the human animal becomes a reality in the mind of our critics.

If gay marriage is legal, it will be on par with straight marriage and will be considered just another variation of a legal contract one can enter. Does the fact that one group can put down another help to empower this sort of straight pride and privilege that exists in our culture. Although never discussed and maybe entirely sub-conscious perhaps there is this feeling of being above gay people.

So what do you think, does queer sexuality/identity threaten heteronormative thinking and identity? Could this be one of the reasons for fierce opposition to granting marriage rights to same-sex couples?

Word of the Gay: "Stromo"

A "stromo" is a gay man who has the style and demeanor associated with straight males. It is the opposite of a metrosexual.

Word of the Gay: "Yestergay"

A "yestergay" is a gay man who has chosen to live a heterosexual lifestyle. This is distinct from "ex-gay" who is someone who is attempting to alter their orientation.

Word of the Gay: "Ex-Straight"

An "ex-straight" person is someone who formerly identified as heterosexual but has gone on to identify as LGBTQ.

Word of the Gay: "Mixed Orientation Relationship"

"Mixed Orientation Relationships" are when one of the partners is a different sexual orientation than the other. These occur when partner comes out later on in life, or are a marriage of convenience.

Word of the Gay; "HeteroQueer"

A "HeteroQueer" is a straight identified individual who is open minded about falling in love with any gender and primarily socializes in LGBT circles.

Activist Tip: Come Out as a Straight Ally

Today's activist tip is directed towards our straight friends and family. Coming out as an ally on behalf the LGBT community can sometimes be daring and challenging pending on the environment you are in. Straight allies are key towards our collective battle for equality. When you speak out as a straight person in favor of LGBT civil rights, it goes to show that the fight for equality is not just about black or white, gay or straight, or man or woman, but purely about human dignity and human rights.

Straight people outnumber gay people and the more voices being heard the more succesful our respective campaigns. Also, someone who may be on the fence with regards to marriage equality, adoption, transgender concerns, and/or other aspects of LGBT life will be able to relate to and be more likely to be convinced by a fellow straight person who sides with equality.

So, to our straight brethren show your rainbow wristband, spark conversations about equality, sign those petitions, and speak up when you hear homo/transphobia. Be out, proud, and loud for those of us who don't have a voice or whose voice is shunned by our adversaries.

Check out PFLAG's Guide to Being a Straight Ally

Word of the Gay: "Heteroflexible"

"Heteroflexible" is synonymous with the term bi-curious and refers to someone who identifies primarily as heterosexual but is open minded and/or willing to be in a relationship and/or sexual activity with someone of the same-sex.

The term can but is not as frequently used for someone who identifies primarily as homosexual but is open to the concept of a sexual and/or emotional relationship with someone of the opposite sex.

Open Forum: "Straight Acting"

We have all done it, know someone who does it, or have varying understandings of what the term means. "Straight Acting" is when a Queer person is not exhibiting any mannerisms that appear to fit an LGBTQ stereotype. For example a gay man who tries to fit in by avoiding seeming effeminate, or a lesbian who tries to avoid seeming overtly masculine.

"Straight Acting" is a controversial and deeply divisive topic, especially among gay/bisexual men where femininity is seen as weakness. Society divides us into gender roles and any variation from it is seen as taboo. This goes back to our earlier discussion on Gay Assimilationists versus Queer Liberationists. Some may see trying to fit in as a good thing, while others may see this as a false attempt to deny ones true identity. Others may feel it is essential for safety and security purposes to cover up their identity.

In his newly released book "Straight Acting" by Angelo Pezzote he says:

"In the struggle to come out, we can experience two conflicting drives - the important need to belong, and the equally important need to be our true selves. We may get caught up in the catch-22 of conforming to belong, while being our authentic selves. We may be out, but we may also elect to conform, at times diminishing the signals that we're gay - to play it more mainstream".

People use the term "Straight Acting" in an effort to differentiate themselves from the broader gay community and culture, they identify themselves as same-sex attracted but otherwise just regular ordinary citizens.

Others are deeply offended by this terminology because it conveys that a so called gay stereotype exists and that perhaps flamboyancy, gender-variation, or gay culture are somehow inherently wrong.
Mr. Pezzote discusses how he believes that this term is representative of Gay Shame.

"In such an inhospitable climate, many gays themselves ingest that being gay is not a good thing. If I feed a plant poisoned water, it can't help but absorb some of the poison. We, too, take in toxic ideas about being gay from our polluted cultural environment. The way we see ourselves is part a reflection of how we think others see us".

Further, not all heterosexuals are the same which begs to question what "Straight Acting" really is.

What do you think about "Straight Acting" is this good or bad for the community, are you indifferent? Or, perhaps are you a "Straight" actor yourself?

Open Forum: That's So Straight!?

Well all grew up hearing the famous phrase "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me". It probably didn't take long to realize that this line is the furthest thing from the truth.

"75.4% of students heard derogatory remarks such as "faggot" or "dyke" frequently or often at school, and nearly nine out of ten (89.2%) reported hearing "that's so gay" or "you're so gay" - meaning stupid or worthless- frequently or often." (GLSEN)

The National School Climate Survey found that LGBT students are more likely to by physically harassed, skip class, drop out, and have a lower GPA due to assault.

Words are hurtful and many times abuse begins verbally and eventually leads to physical violence. As Queer activists & Allies it is important to stand up, many times people utter these words without thinking twice about what their connotation is and whom they might be offending.

So I pose the question, what if anything do you do to combat hateful words? Do you say something, and if so how do you handle it and what has the outcome been?