Monday, October 27, 2008

How to be a Trans Ally

Saw this article over at Lesbian Life on how to be a trans ally.

1. Don't Assume.

You might not know if a transgender person is in your presence. If speaking to a group, try to be inclusive.

2. Don't tolerate anti-trans remarks or jokes.

If someone makes a transphobic joke or remark, call them out on it. Challenge transphobic thinking.

3. Use the preferred pronoun.

If a person says she identifies as female, use "she" and "her" regardless of what that person's body or appearance is. If you are not sure which pronoun to use ask the person, "What pronoun would you like me to use?"

4. Respect Confidentiality.

If a person comes out to you as transgender, transsexual or questioning, ask that person who else knows and who you can talk to about it.

5. Listen.

Every trans person's experience is unique. If someone is having a hard time coming out or experiencing discrimination, you can help a lot by just listening.

6. Know your limits.

Admit when you've reached the limit of your knowledge. Ask for guidance or find an appropriate resource.

7. Don't try to Label someone.

If someone tells you they feel like they are "trapped in the wrong body" don't tell them they are necessarily a transsexual. People who are struggling with their gender identity often need the space to figure out for themselves how to identify.

8. Don't assume You Know What Their sexual Orientation is.

Sexual orientation and gender identity are not directly connected. Someone who is transitioning may also be questioning their sexual orientation or may choose to identify in a different way then they have previously.

9. Look at yourself.

Examine your own ideas of gender stereotypes and challenge those around you to do the same.

10. Stay Open

Remember transgender people are individuals who deserve respect and understanding.

16 comments:

Renee Gannon said...

I'm a total trans-ally!!

Larry in Miami said...

Dear Q.U., as always you enlighten ALL of us... love to all,

Shauna Baggtt said...

I am guilty of saying something in regards to transsexual and transgender being the same when actually Transgender is many things. I am an Intersex Transsexual which I am proud of who I am label or not. If I offended you sorry, my comments for the most part are truthful.

Shauna

Laurie said...

That is such a wonderful post :)

HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Don't post stuped, clueless articles like the one about trans chickens.

Nicky said...

Well, as an intersex, I would accept them because on the grounds that the science isn't their and that science says that trans are not really intersex at all.

Shauna, I have to say, your not intersex because under the current APA DSM VI, Rules for diagnosing intersex, you can't not be intersex and transgender at the same time. So technically, your a transgender and not an intersex.

Nicky said...

Shauna, Technically anyone who has a diagnosed intersexed condition, is to never be identified or qualify to meet a transsexual diagnosis. The intersexed condition overrules, a TS diagnosis. Now those Guidelines for meeting a TS diagnosis are very old, but they were meant to be used for clearly biological men or women who felt they were in the wrong body. Now having an intersexed condition, could also be used to explain having a Gender Identity Disorder, but when that was used it was also called having a Gender Identity Disorder due to an Intersexed Condition, and those patients were still labeled as Intersexed and not as Transsexual, the Transsexual diagnosis was never meant to be used on anyone who has an Intersexed condition. Should a intersexed person choose to Reassign there Gender to the gender appropriate to them, or if a doctor or parent chose to have a child's gender changed, the surgery was refereed to as Gender Reassignment Surgery (GRS), that terminology only applied to the intersexed, and what ever surgery to assign the gender of a child, or person was legally recognized as that persons official legal gender, and that was all medically found to be socially acceptable, final word of law. you were a boy or girl, if that is what the doctors assigned you as.

Oh and the Intersexed condition overrules a person from being Diagnosed as Transsexual, and again, I am quoting the HBSoC, Not the DSM, because the DSM, merged, lumped a person with an intersexed condition into the 302.6 GIDNOS for no other reason then to keep the patient/client from finding out that they had an intersexed condition. The use of GIDNOS, was used instead of following normal DSM guidelines labeling a mental condition dx first followed by the DX for the medical health condition. <--------that is why GIDNOS is used for a person who has an intersexed condition. It wasn't about lumping them together, or calling them the same, it was about keeping the client/person from knowing the intersexed condition.

You would have to go and find the original HBSoC and the WPATH that was written because for you to claim intersex and transgender is very wrong and that under the APA DSM VI manual, HBSoC and the WPATH. You can't be intersex and trans at the same time and being intersex ecxludes intersex from ever meeting or being dx as trans.

Nicky said...

You would have to look up the original written HBSoC and the WPATH document to see and understand what I am saying.

jGrrl said...

I've shared this on my facebook. Some of my friends will appreciate it and some of them really need to read it. Thank you <3

Queers United said...

thanks jgrrl for spreading the word.

Nicky said...

As for me, I'm not an ally because at the moment, I can't support and agree to those who choose to change their genders. As an intersex, I can not be allys with trans who bully, demand and insist their acceptance. I can't support those who claim their science is valid, when they never shown any proof. So for me, I can not and will never ever support or ally with trans.

Anonymous said...

Hi, Nicky! (hugs you tight, to spread trans cooties all over you)

Its a pleasure to see you defending Purity of Essence(tm) for intersex folks. After all, we can't let this Queers United junk get in the way of a good isolationist hat3 on. It must be very demanding defending the faith of Pure and True IS.

So, have a cookie.

BTW, your site was instrumental in my disidentification as IS. The hat3ful spew you bandy about trans women was really inspiring. After all, what better way to maintain sharp borders than to cut across bodies. And, the bullying, demanding, and insistence you make about trans and IS lives really makes you so much better than all us yukky transfolk. Even the ones who have a diagnosed IS condition.

As far as your crapulent interpretation of DSM-IV, ever read the criteria for GID-NOS? Thought so.

Just curious...what made you hate trans women so much? Did some HBS twit p1ss you off?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Nicky said...

See, I am a person of science and logic. I believe in scientific fact and logical reasoning. I base my opinions on scientific facts and scientific proof that are proven and very reliable. I think that the trans community are using social science, pseudoscience, fake science and social engineering to push their agenda and cause. They have no proof or logic whatsoever.

What get's me fired up is when you have some transgender who go's out and tells people that they are intersex and trans. Now that hurts true intersex people such as myself because you have trans people going out their, claiming their intersex, telling people lies and false facts about the intersex and when you confront them and ask them about their so called intersex status. You get personal attacks, name calling and called a bigot, all because you want and demand proof that they are intersex and have every right to be called intersex.

See, I think that the trans people are living in a bubble world of a reality where they can't face the realities and cold hard facts. They can't face the scientific proof and scientific facts in front of them. Even if you showed them the cold hard scientific and the scientific realities, they still will disprove and disbelieve it. They will even lash out and call you every name in the book and call you a bigot, all because your telling the truth and showing the scientific truth and the scientific fact.

What they are doing is going their and calling themselves intersex and trans without scientific facts or scientific proof. They are hurting true intersex people such as myself who have to work twice as hard to distance the intersex from the trans community. As an intersex, I get pissed when you have trans people who go out and tell people they are trans and intersex without any facts or any proof to back their claim. It's why most intersex born intersex such as myself who are trying to distance ourselves from the trans community and trans people because they have become too loud, too demanding and too forceful.

See, I am a true intersex. I can prove my intersex status in terms biological, genetics and physical. Where as the trans, they can't prove intersex. They can't even prove their intersex in the same level and same context with every intersex out their. See, you can measure intersex in terms of biological, genetic DNA and physiological. You can't measure trans in the same standards as the intersex.

See, in every science class out their, science teaches us that you can change your body, but you can't change your DNA or your brain. See, no matter how many surgeries a trans may have, they still will have their original birth mitochondrial DNA

Anonymous said...

Wow...cool!

So, if I am reading you correctly, the "trans" are out to sap and impurify the precious bodily fluids of the true Intersex.
This is good to know, and why I do not usually share my IS condition.
Quite frankly, seeing how many wannabes are out there, I can understand your frustration. Gays and lesbians have done the same ugly sh1t to us trans women and far worse. As in serious body count, ya hear?
Of course, I have yet to see dead bodies piling up from intersex appropriation, but, I have to tell you, it gives me perfect cover to me who is both IS and trans.

It means I can never be outed as IS, and if I am, all I have to do is come off all wannabe and make a fuss about it.
Problem solved. Because when you are IS, doctors love to take a giant sh1t on you just to get their own rocks off. Of course, being openly trans kinda washes away that whole IS thingy, doesn't it?

So, its much better to be trans, IMHO. And, even when some a-hole er doc finds my many incisions, I just "borrow" the wannabe stories and crank up the volume, and presto! I am not IS anymore. And this means I get spared the usual "tour of goofy medical students" parade. Or at least until some fool orders an ultrasound.

Now, everybody who studies this, and is not invested in feminist or lesbian hate of trans women, knows that intersex and trans may or may not be comorbid, but, with folks like you on the job, I can hide in plain sight!
So, keep up the good work, and make sure everybody knows about these dangerous trans appropriating IS conditions. Next thing you know, they will be flouridating the water supply!

You and folks like you have saved me from some serious emergency room and clinic BS more than once, and I thank you.

And none of the gratitude or reasons behind it are in any way sarcastic.

Anonymous said...

Well said!

cassio said...

My father is very scientific. I respect people who need scientific proof. I am a sociologist myself, but I think the attacks really need to stop.

Here's my explanation: Womanhood is a state of mind/energy, not biology but there are some biological markers, such as increased estrogen levels in MTFs. (not all of them, but some of them.)

However, the issue is that biology isn't a particularly reliable marker. Nurturing exists in men who become single parents, in women who are infertile, etc. So the argument of the trans movement is a sociological one: that gender is a social construct.

Much of that has to do with combatting stereotypes, and much of it also has to do with a political objective: personal freedom. You have the freedom not to be a trans ally. And I and others have the right to be trans.

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