Friday, October 10, 2008

Word of the Gay: "Bi-phobia"

"Bi-phobia" is very common among the gay and straight communities who often misunderstand and fear bisexuality. "Bi-phobia" is a fear and condemnation of bisexuality and people of the orientation. Common "bi-phobic" assumptions are that people who are bisexual are "confused", "selfish", "hedonistic", and/or "promiscuous". Many people are under the false impression that bisexuals cannot remain monogamous, and that they date multiple partners and cannot remain faithful.

4 comments:

jGrrl said...

Oh Gods I know this one so well, when I was growing up - my mom's lesbian friends all told me that there was NO such thing as "bi" and that one day I'd realize that I was really lesbian and just "confused".

It hurt because I really trusted these women and they made me feel kinda creepy for being me, like I was defective or something... I've actually had less issues within the straight community about it to be honest.

Even now - many of my Gay friends tell me that its just a matter of time before I finally "realize" and cross over properly... But, I'm not promiscuous and I'm living in a hetero relationship but my husband is well aware that I am bi and he totally accepts it and support me just the same. I don't cheat or sleep around either.

I tell people I am currently "bi practicing hetero" but that doesn't negate the bisexual half of me either - love is love and monogamy is a choice of respect and a symbol of devotion to my partner, no matter their gender.

wilksl said...

love is love and monogamy is a choice of respect and a symbol of devotion to my partner, no matter their gender.

This.

Cloud said...

I agree. I find it odd that people can't accept that things aren't always black or white. Gay or straight. I guess that puts me in the grey area, now doesn't it? Even this doesn't get through to them, though.

My mother is always fretting that I'll never 'settle down'. Maybe I wont, but I like to think I will; I just don't know with whom it will be, a man or woman.

I may be able to love more openly and a wider variety of individuals, but that can't make me 'promiscuous', can it? Does being bi condemn me to life alone, switching from bed to bed? Does it mean I can't find true love in just one person? I should think not! I may not have found said love as of yet, but, I'm young, and I'm also patient. I would also like to point out that I have NEVER been in a relationship with ANYONE before, man OR woman. Does this sound promiscuous to you? I thought not.

Yet, I know I am bi, for I have had crushes on both men and woman. Crushes. I have not loved them; and so I will wait, and when I find someone, regardless of gender, that I can truly admit to loving, then I will offer them all the devotion and attention I can muster. Again, I ask you, does this sound promiscuous? Is it really so selfish to want to find the one person you are destined to be with, regardless of if they are a man or woman? Do I sound confused to you? I should hope not, because in my heart I feel very sure.

I am grey, I am bi. Be you black or white I will accept you, I only ask you do the same for me.

Victor said...

*applauds*
old short thread, I realize. but I would just like to second the remarks of all the above posters, and perhaps expound on some other points a wee bit. (I actually came here from http://www.queerattitude.com/forums/posts.php?t=15094)

I would also like to point out that biphobia (a form of discrimination, mind you) is directed at ‘famous’ persons as well; e.g., just read the string of comments from posters on the sexual preference of pop singer icon Mika (some of which uninformed bigotry, the retorts to which open-minded and intelligible): http://www.queerty.com/mika-finally-caves-to-the-pressure-and-comes-out-as-bisexual-20090922/
(Side-note: I’m not keen on following stars' sexual orientation, let alone their personal life; I had just happened to be curious one day so decided to google "Mika gay ?" to see what kinds of results would pop-up.)

Granted; there -are- folks out there calling themselves ‘bisexual’ while in truth are lesbian are gay. However, people should not be so quick to dismiss! Besides, labels are overrated:-]
I am of the viewpoint that the vast majority of human beings, in the hypothetical event that all inhibitions were suddenly to become distinguished, the entire population would suddenly exhibit much more bisexual behavior. Very few persons are literally 100% gay\homosexual or 100% straight\heterosexual, which more sexually repressed individuals would realize and come to terms with if they would be willing to accept themselves and see the world in colors (or at least shades of grey, as opposed to black and white).


And as far as promiscuity goes: just remember that love=/=lust.

p.s. I have to concur jGrrl on self-pronounced gays wielding a greater degree of biphobia than self-pronounced straights (“ ” I've actually had less issues within the straight community about it to be honest.” ).

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