Thursday, October 2, 2008

Word of the Gay; "HeteroQueer"

A "HeteroQueer" is a straight identified individual who is open minded about falling in love with any gender and primarily socializes in LGBT circles.


Paula Brooks said...

I know a few of these... and they made for some of the worst girlfriends I ever had.

Cecily DeVille said...

I wonder... is bashing based on orientation acceptable in this forum as long as it's directed at ( at least nominally ) straight folk?

Queers United said...

cecily bashing is not acceptable, whether directed at straight or gay folks. I am open to people posting here who may disagree morally with homosexuality they are entitled to post about it as long as they don't spam or post hate and are just trying to convey their point intellectually and sincerely.

RT said...

This definition annoys me. I am a heterosexual male and my exclusive gender preference is female. I am not open to same-sex relationships and I do not identify with or fit into the LGBT community, yet I am absolutely *not straight*. Despite rightly acknowledging the existence of queer heterosexuality, you are still attempting to claim that all forms of queerness are ultimately tied to and defined by an association with LGBT culture. This is not correct. Queerness can and should be construed much more broadly.

Queers United said...

If you are straight you are straight how do you define yourself as queer if you are in the majority when it comes to your sexual orientation or gender identity?

RT said...

Like I said, the term should be construed more broadly. Just because I experience myself as wholly masculine, that doesn't mean I project masculinity to others. It doesn't mean my own subjectively masculine thoughts, feelings, desires, demeanor, and behavior are interpreted by others as such. I just happen to deviate from conventional gender norms in a way that does not pertain to my sexual preference or subjective gender identity. To give a familiar example of the same, many dedicated cross-dressers are, aside from their choice of attire, gender normative heterosexuals. Nevertheless, the majority strongly tends to conceive of them as queer, thereby consigning them to minority status.

Personally, I prefer even to construe sexual preference (heterosexuality/homosexuality) as a dimension entirely separate from gender identity or expression (straight/queer). Accordingly, I'd submit there exist both "straight" male homosexuals (e.g. bears, who largely do conform to male behavioral norms) as well as queer male homosexuals (e.g. twinks, who in many ways do not conform to male behavioral norms).

But regardless, your own definition is arbitrarily restrictive, in my opinion, because it takes into account only one's subcultural affiliation, sexual preference, and/or gender identity, while excluding one's gender expression (at least as something that may be independent of gender identity).

Wikipedia (, for what it's worth, gives an even broader definition than what I advocate here: "The range of what queer includes varies. In addition to referring to LGBT-identifying people, it can also encompass: pansexual, pomosexual, intersexual, genderqueer, asexual and autosexual people, and even gender normative heterosexuals whose sexual orientations or activities place them outside the heterosexual-defined mainstream, e.g., BDSM practitioners, or polyamorous persons."

By the way, if LGBT culture would ever acknowledge and accept people like myself, I'd be delighted to come into the fold. So far, though, I've faced only rejection from straights and queers alike. And it's your loss, cause I happen to be pretty awesome :)

Post a Comment