Monday, October 20, 2008

WTF? Tyra Banks Show Seeking "Ex-Gays"

Maybe I spoke too quickly when I said that Tyra Banks is a true ally of the LGBT commmunity.

Now the Tyra Banks show is looking to host a program on "Ex-Gays"

"I WANT TO BE AN EX-GAY

Are you a gay man or lesbian who wants to be straight? Do your friends or family disagree with your gay lifestyle and wish you were straight? If you ever wish you could erase your same-sex attractions and not be gay?" (Tyra)
The Tyra Banks show has been inclusive in featuring gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people in her shows in a positive light. Unless Tyra Banks seeks to prove on her show how "conversion therapy" and "ex-gays" are nothing more than a myth and people who are in denial or outright lying, this show is a bad move.

Click here to send actual good show ideas to Tyra.

Click here to leave a comment telling Tyra Banks either not to make a show on "ex-gays" or to make one which exposes the myth that is the "ex-gay" movement. If the show just shows so called "ex-gays" and religious fanatics it will further confuse people in the closet and legitimize a movement that is based in fear and hate and not grounded in science, psychology or reality.

22 comments:

Kelli Busey said...

Posted on Tyra's;
"Hosting a show featuring ex-Gay's espousing conversion therapy as a means of "curing" homosexuality lends credence to dangerous and harmful practices of groups such a "NARTH". Please do not air any shows that would cause harm."

Queers United said...

Kelli thanks so much for taking action, if the "ex-gay" movement is given such a prominent spotlight in a positive or sympathetic way, it will result in millions of closeted, questioning people to re-consider this horrible path that ultimately leads to self-denial, depression, and in some cases suicide.

~Julie Phineas~ said...

oh hell no, WTF is right!

Queers United said...

Julie I couldn't say it better myself.

Laurie said...

There is no such thing as an 'ex-gay'...
I can't even read a fictional story about a
person going through that 'ex-gay' stuff
without crying....

I don't know how to go on this....I would like
for people to know the real harm it does...
But, you know how people are.....They don't
care...Just so long as it's good for them....

HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Renee said...

I think Tyra has been given entirely too much credit for being a "progressive" personality. She constantly falls back on dominate social constructions to back up her arguments.

Yeah she is searching for ex gays but not ex heterosexuals. Of course there is no such thing because heterosexuality is what is normal right?

When I see garbage like this I wonder hot it is possible that the right wing can still make comments like the media makes it cool to be gay? This is just pure ridiculousness. It is no easier today than it was twenty years ago to be gay.

Jeff said...

Hmm what I hear is reaction not based in truth or objectivity just emotion. I am a gay man who once worked with an ex-gay ministry. Though I may not agree with their stance on homosexuality in the ministry I was a part of many good things occurring for men and women where some not allow were dealing with a gay orientation.

Do we in the gay community want to be so small that we do not allow others the freedom to express themselves. If someone does not want to be gay or should I say act out sexually because it conflicts with their faith, should they not have a right to be able to go to places that agree with their faith beliefs.

Why should Tyra not have ex-gays on if she so desires. Don't try to demonize her for you then put yourself in the same camp that demonizes gay people. I think what would be good is to have a show that has both gays and ex-gays on much like having democrats and republicans expressing their views.

Anonymous said...

Jeff, I'd just like to say because the term "ex-gay" indicates a choice. I am a proponent of the theory that gay people are MADE gay, they don't CHOOSE it. Herein lies the rub. It's not about people that have "converted," it's more about people who are repressing their NATURAL desires, denying the very way they were created.

Hence, why all the other people posting are worried about harmful repercussions. Republicans and Democrats are a decision, not an inherent desire.

Ily said...

I'm no big fan of Tyra, but we don't know what the angle on this is going to be. The point of the show could be to prove that homosexuality can't be cured, or something like that. I can easily see it going that way.

Alvaro Gómez Prado said...

Tyra's already getting all this attention from us, things like this post. That's what she wants. Now, we all know there's no chance someone can switch sexual orientations because it's not a choice yadda yadda... but that does not mean we should cover their mouths so they (the ex-gays and tyra) are not able to speak their minds (or that of their producers, anyway)
We don't want to be censored, so let's not use censorship on them, let's just watch them from afar and be careful. I fthey wanna fight, then we make a move, but so long nothing's happening.

BTW, I agree with someone about that NARTH mummbo jumbo... I studied their ways for my thesis, they are beyond senseless.

Queers United said...

I hear both sides. It is quite possibly that Tyra will present both sides of the argument and maybe even go towards proving that sexual orientation is not a choice or changeable.

I am not looking to censor anyone, if she wants to have a show about people who are struggling, people who choose celibacy because of religion that is fine. The term "ex-gay" however is getting me, regardless of the spin on the show, the title indicates that changing from being gay is possible. It isn't.

phd in yogurtry said...

Hoping this is a ploy to surround these ex-gay-wannabees with a studio full of validation and acceptance. I.e., see, there really is a good life after disapproving parents and community.

Sheldon said...

I'm sure the show will be balanced with opposing views. For some people, not all, ex-gay ministries serve as a lifeline. Particularly if their self-loathing led them to act out in self-destructive ways, it's better that they enter an ex-gay ministry than continue on a self-destructive path.

While I'm content with my life as a well-adjusted openly gay man, some people find nothing but misery. For some people, "ex-gay" means redirecting their sexual energies, if not their sexual attraction. For others, it simply means choosing not to act on their sexual attraction.

Simply examining "ex-gays" on a TV talk show isn't an act of treason against the LGBT community. They exist. The answer is not to pretend they don't, but to question why people still find this a better option than trying to find their own space to be themselves.

Queers United said...

phd - the show should be called "ex-gay wannabes" lol

sheldon - i disagree. people who are in pain because of being LGBT should seek an LGBT affirming therapist not go into a pseudo therapy that doesn't work and seeks to condemn the individuals thoughts through religious zealotry. while anyone who doesn't want to act on their homosexuality is entitled to, it is called celibacy not ex-gay.

Renee said...

Simply examining "ex-gays" on a TV talk show isn't an act of treason against the LGBT community. They exist. The answer is not to pretend they don't, but to question why people still find this a better option than trying to find their own space to be themselves.

No they don't exist. One does not wake up suddenly and change your sexual orientation. It is what it is. What these people are doing is bowing to social pressure because they don't want to deal with the harassment and the discrimination that comes with being gay in this world. If I were to label it, I would call it internalized homophobia.

I took issue with this show the minute I heard about it because it encourages the idea that 1) it is possible to change and that 2) supports the homo/hetero binary in that homosexuality is understood is bad. Instead of bowing to pressure and continuing to live out this ridiculous binary we need to assert the fact that love no matter how it occurs is not only legitimate but wonderful. In a world that is filled with so much hate we should be doing anything we can to promote loving relationships.

Lycoris said...

I was already a little leery of Tyra's show. She seemed interested in doing a show on asexuality, and we were all getting excited, and members were volunteering to appear as guests. Then, at the last minute, they decided to cut the story because we were unable to provide an "attractive young couple" to represent us on the show.

But this just takes the cake. I understand that "ex-gay" has become a social phenomenon in an age where the Religious Right is seeking to convince gay, lesbian, and bisexual individuals that their orientation is a choice (and a bad one at that), and it would be interesting to examine the experience of someone who identifies as an "ex-gay" from a sociological and psychological point of view, but I really don't like the way the ad is worded.

Then again, as you said, perhaps her aim is to show these people that there is nothing wrong with being gay or lesbian and offer support to help them accept their sexual orientation. I don't know. Either way, I have no desire to watch Tyra's show whatsoever, so that will remain a mystery.

Queers United said...

Lycoris for some reason I feel like I remember seeing something about asexuality on Tyra? I just feel like I remember her saying "YOU DON'T WANT SEX?" in her shocked voice.

It is sad that she canceled the program you are talking about. I thought she cared about people but now I am thinking it is all about ratings.

Lycoris said...

Hmm, that's interesting. I don't watch her show at all, so it's entirely possible that I missed it.

I just remember that David Jay made a post about Tyra dropping the story on his blog: http://asexualunderground.blogspot.com/2008/09/asexual-problem-part-1-numbers.html

Queers United said...

Lycoris I probably am just confusing it with something else, I am sure you and other asexual bloggers would know if she did have a show on it at some point. Thanks for the link.

Anonymous said...

i was on this show and she just basically wanted to see why people would want to be an ex gay and get their stories
it's not like she tried to change us

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure if the show I'm watching is the same one you're talking about, but I'm pretty sure it is. I just wanted to let you and anyone else who reads this post (in case you havent already seen the show, if you have then nvm) but she's totally on the side of LGBT people. And conversion therapies are not a myth, they still take place today (and have been for a lonnngg time). The idea that they WORK is a myth, but they do still happen. There was a report by the APA Task Force on the subject, and they concluded that (and I'm REALLY condensing here) it's basically impossible to change what most consider to be a person sexual orientation. Anyway, I just wanted to say that Tyra's not a hater of gays or anything like that, that she was really sympathetic to the plight of the guests on her show, and that conversion therapies arent a myth.

Anonymous said...

IS IT TRUE THAT TYRA BANKS IS GAY? JUST BECAUSE SHE I SEEKING OUT PEOPLE WHO AARE GAY, LESBIAN AND WHAT EVER ELSE THERE IS DOESN'T MEAN TYRA IS GAY ALSO. SHE MIGT B TRYING TO GET AN INSIDE VIEW OF WHAT IT'S LIEK FOR THOSE TYPE OF PEOPLE INSTEAD OFASSUMING THING LIKE MOST PEOPLE DO ABOUT OTHERS WE FEEL ARE LIKE THAT.

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