Open Forum: How Do You Self-Identify?

I'm bringing this post back because it was so popular and I'd like to get more of an idea of where my readers are coming from and who they are.

It would be interesting to know how most people who participate here identify. Don't feel the need to classify but if you wish to opine...

Sexual Orientation: Are you gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer, asexual, questioning, pansexual, straight?

Gender Identity: Are you male female, intersex, m2f, f2m, androgyne, genderqueer, questioning?

Diversity Lesson 101: Bisexuality

Bisexuality is a sexual orientation that is often misunderstood, bisexuals are a segment of the population that face unnecessary discrimination from both the straight and gay communities because this community treads the line on sexuality.

Definition: Bisexuality is a sexual orientation whereby a person can have physical/emotional attraction towards both males and females.

There are varying degrees of bisexuality, again like all sexual identity, bisexuality lies on a continuum and some bisexuals will be predominantly attracted to one sex while others find their level of attraction is closer to an equal level for both.

What is Biphobia? Unfortunately this is very common among the gay and straight communities who often misunderstand and fear bisexuality. Biphobia is a fear and condemnation of bisexuality and people of the orientation. Common biphobic assumptions are that people who are bisexual are "confused", "selfish", "hedonistic", "promiscuous". Many people are under the false impression that bisexuals cannot remain monogamous, and that they date multiple partners and cannot remain faithful.

How common is Bisexuality? This is a hard one to answer, sexual identity is fluid and lies on a continuum, a large percentage of people regardless of whether they identify as gay/straight have had some degree of same-sex or opposite attraction and this fact would mean they are bisexual to a degree. People who find that their bisexuality is more evident or lifelong consistent make up between 3-5% of the general population. Bisexuality is also common in the animal kingdom with many species exhibiting bisexual behavior and some where the entire species are bisexual such as the binobo monkeys.

Symbols of Bisexuality: The Bisexual pride flag has a deep pink stripe at the top for homosexuality, a blue one on the bottom for heterosexuality, and a purple blend of the pink and blue colors to represent bisexuality. Other symbols include a pink and blue triangle that overlap creating a purple triangle at its intersection. Another popular symbol is the double moon representing mars and venus and showing bisexuals are open to both sexes.

Recommended Books on Bisexuality:

Bi Any Other Name:Bisexual People Speak Out by Loraine Hutchins, Editor & Lani Ka'ahumanu

Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World by Robyn Ochs, Editor & Sarah Rowley

The Bisexual Option by Fritz Klein, MD

Bi Men : Coming Out Every Which Way by Ron Suresha and Pete Chvany

Bi America : Myths, Truths, And Struggles Of An Invisible Community by William E. Burleson

Bisexuality in the United States : A Social Science Reader by Paula C. Rodriguez Rust

Bisexuality : The Psychology and Politics of an Invisible Minority by Beth A. Firestein

Current Research on Bisexuality by Ronald C. Fox PhD

Bisexual Websites/Resources:


American Institute of Bisexuality

BiNet USA

Bi Resource

Bi Magazine

Some Video's on Bisexuality:

Diversity Lesson 101: Queer

Queer is a complicated and "radical" term that has been used disparagingly, an outside of the binary way of self-identifying, and an umbrella term to describe sexual/gender minorities.

Queer Historically Seen as an Insult:
The word Queer has typically and historically been used as an insult to gay men and lesbians, it is considered a synonym to "strange", "unusual", and "different" and has been on par with hateful rhetoric such as "faggot", "dyke", "shemale", and "he/she".

Reclamation of the Term by Sexual Liberation Movement:

The term has been reclaimed by sexual/gender minorities to be an umbrella term for people who are different from the heterosexual "norm", this term now encompasses those who are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Asexual, and Intersexual.

Queer as a Sexual/Gender Identity:

Queer is also a way for people to self-identify with regards to their sexual orientation or gender identity. People who are Queer may feel that sexuality is not just black or white but falls into shades of gray. They do not box themselves into categories such as gay, lesbian, or straight but see sexuality as lying on a continuum with varying degrees. Queer people often describe their sexual orientation as being "pansexual" and are open to males, females, transgender, and intersexual people. Hence, Queer as a sexual orientation is different than "bisexuality" which conveys an attraction to males and females and works within the gender binary system. Sexuality for many Queer identified people is seen as fluid and changes throughout their lifespan. Their interests, passions, and behaviors change with them as they grow as individuals.

Many Queer people also do not box themselves into the gender binary system of male or female. They feel that they are genderqueer and have masculine and feminine aspects to their personality and choose to embrace their gender identity/expression in various ways.

Word of the Gay: "5-Alpha-Reductase Deficiency"

"5-alpha-reductase deficiency" is an intersex condition where individuals have testes, as well as vagina and labia, but with a small penis capable of ejaculation instead of a clitoris. Come puberty the testes descend the voice deepens, limited facial hair occurs, and they often develop a male sexual identity.

Mapping Gender Neutral/Unisex Restrooms

Transgender, Genderqueer, and Intersexual folks often face difficult decisions when it comes to something as simple as going to the restroom. They face the reality of being attacked, discriminated against, arrested, or feeling very uncomfortable when choosing a bathroom that is specified for a specific gender.

Now, thanks to the Safe2Pee Resource, gender variant people can find gender neutral/unisex bathrooms around the world. You can also add any bathrooms to the database that would be suitable.

"The goal of the project is to create a resource where people who do not feel comfortable with traditional public restrooms can find safe alternatives, and to support advocacy and research to further the cause of gender free, inclusive bathrooms."

Word of the Gay: "Ex-Ex-Gay"

"Ex-Ex-Gays" are people who were once under religious/social pressure attempting to change their sexual orientation to heterosexual, but eventually came to embrace their sexual identity as LGBT.

Petition to get APA to Review Stance on Asexuality

The American Psychiatric Association is meeting to review their definition, standards and practices with regards to many topics. The two we are most interested in is Gender Identity and Sexuality. The following is a petition I created to get the APA to review their stance on Asexuality and not consider it a mental disorder. Asexual people are fully capable of living healthy and normal lives and should not be pathologized.

Asexual people and Allies please spread the word about the petition...

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/87/petition-for-apa-to-review-stance-on-asexuality

Open Forum: How Much do our Identities Shape Who We Are?

The heterosexual majority often argue that gays are bent on publicly displaying their sexual orientation. You often hear remarks about pride parades, "why must they parade about their sexuality, we don't have a straight pride parade." We retort back by saying that our sexual and gender identities are only one aspect of our lives and that we are varied individuals with many characteristics that make up our identities and personalities.

Who is right? Are queer lives so heavily focused on identity or are they truly only just a sample of our greater selves?

When our lives are broken down into important spheres there are some commonalities we all share. With regards to family and friends, our identities can come into play because we want to be open with them about who we are and whom we love. When it comes to religion, many people feel that their religious background has left them feeling isolated and abandoned, and so religion and identity intersect. When it comes to politics we are not a given a fair shake, and so politics becomes an arena where we can advocate and demand equal rights for ourselves, our partners, and our families. At school or the workplace we want to know if our peers/co-workers will accept us, and if our jobs and our positions are in jeopardy. When we venture out into new areas we want to know whether the environment is safe and affirming or whether we could get attacked or victimized for simply holding hands with a partner, or for dressing/acting a certain way.

There is no doubt about the fact that our queer identities are complex and very significant to our lives. The question is how significant are they and to what degree do our respective identities enter other areas of our life? Feel free to weigh in.

Open Forum: Sexual Re-Orientation?

The topic is critical and complex at the same time. All comments and thoughts are pure speculations, but nonetheless we must prepare for the future of our movement as genetic modifications and eugenics are becoming a reality.

Scientists are working tirelessly to find the root of sexual orientation and desire as well as gender identity and are looking into areas such as genes, hormones, and psychology and how they all intertwine in identity formation. We reported a while back about federally funded experiments to alter the sexual orientation of homosexual rams.

This research is in its early stages but there is much talk about the possibility of knowing the future with regards to a child's sexual orientation and gender identity. There are also indications that scientists will be capable of chemically altering a child to "straighten" them out.

This research proves to be a double edged sword for queers, as many of us find solace in the fact that our identities are biological, but at the same token the research also indicates the real threat that we can eventually somehow be "cured" and have non hetero-normative identities eliminated from the species.

Where do you stand on this issue? Would you go through sexual re-orientation? Would you alter your childs orientation/identity knowing the difficulties of growing up in a non-queer friendly world? Is sexual re-Orientation an ethical and valid field or is this junk science and dangerous?

Spread the Word: Asexual Educational Pamphlets

Here are some FREE pamphlets about Asexuality that can be printed out and distributed for public knowledge. Please check them out to educate yourself, and leave a trail of these at school, your local library, LGBT or any community center, and house of worship.

Spreading the word about Asexuality not only helps people learn about a sexual orientation many are unaware of but you may even potentially reach someone who felt isolated or in the closet with their own Asexuality.

Asexuality Pamphlets (Free - Color)

Asexuality Pamphlets (Free Grey-Scale)

Open Forum: G0y's - New Identity or Shameful Gays?

There is a growing and controversial movement of men who call themselves G0y. They are men who are attracted to men but have grown disgusted of "Gay" male culture and anal sexual practices. Below is a snippet from a G0y website, which can best explain what this new identity and movement is all about...

"G0YS (Spelled with a ZER0) are guys who find men physically & emotionally attractive, but (for whatever reason) are offended with the stigmas that currently define the 'gay community' in the public psyche. G0YS recognize that the prominent facets of the "gay-male" community tend to embrace every gender-bending act, fetish & affectation; --And include those things in the general specter of the image that "gay" projects publicly. The easiest to observe example is the commonly used acronym "GLIT" (sometimes "GLIB") meaning Gay, Lesbian, Intersexed, Transgendered (or BiSexual). The fact that "GAY" is grouped with "Intersexed & Transgendered" is evidence to our primary point showing what the term "GAY" has morphed into. G0YS reject those associations completely & consider it a form of gender-prejudice against men who love men.

Behaviorally: Anal-sex is innately shunned by g0ys - as it represents the ultimate form of sexual disrespect whether male/male or male/female. Other distasteful stereotypes include (but are not limited to): Effeminate behavior, extreme passivity (like cowardice) & drag. G0YS don't call other men "girl", "bitch", "queen", etc. You probably get the idea.

What G0YS embrace is masculinity in it's purest forms. Many G0YS are GAY, or (usually)-BI identified men (who might wear those labels IF they were not aware of the G0Y movement). Many G0YS are STRAIGHT identified (involved in marriage or exclusive relationships with women) also - but have these deep feelings for masculine affection nonetheless (whether ever acted upon or not). Many of these men have had 1 or more sexual encounters with other men (not anal) & lack the language to describe those feelings & relationships. The term "gay" simply encloses too large a group & offensive associated stereotypes. G0YS place friendships at the top of their proverbial "list". Some of those friendships deepen to a level that is so intimate & personal that sexuality often becomes an element; -- & strong, invisible cords of love, respect & extreme-discretion cover what is an intensely personal thing. The reputation of the flamboyance, promiscuity, filth & bizarre cross-culture of the term "gay" - is seen as an affront to g0y relationships." (http://www.g0ys.org

G0y identified people have become increasingly visible on "Gay/Bi" communities and forums, and not only self-identify as G0y but are critical and even demeaning of those who identify as "Gay."

Please feel free to weigh in about the G0y's versus Gays phenomenon. Is this a new identity or are these men just ashamed to embrace their sexuality?

Word of the Gay: "Questioning"

This term within the context of the Queer community refers to people who are questioning their sexual orientation, gender identity or both. They may be experimenting with their feelings and attractions to see what identity would best describe them. The letter "Q" is sometimes added to the acronym LGBT.

Gay Sheep Experiments Aimed to "Fix" Homosexuality

I am bumping this thread back up since these cruel and homophobic experiments continue to occur in the name of science.

According to PETA:

"Oregon Health and Science University (OHSU), a school that has received criticism in the past for torturing monkeys in its labs, has officially been outed. Information has been brought to light about ridiculous “gay sheep” experiments that are being conducted at the school. OHSU experimenter Charles Roselli is spending millions of taxpayer dollars to kill homosexual rams and cut open their brains in an attempt to find the hormone behind homosexual tendencies so that these tendencies can be changed. Roselli is also working with experimenter Frederick Stormshak of Oregon State University (OSU), who has surgically inserted an estrogen implant in the bodies of these rams in an effort “to restore tissue levels of estrogen comparable to those of heterosexual rams and affect sexual behavior accordingly.”

In addition to being cruel to animals, these experiments also carry the insidious implication that homosexuality in humans needs to be "cured." In his application for public funding from the National Institutes of Health (NIH), the experimenter states that “this research also has broader implications for understanding the development and control of sexual motivation and mate selection across mammalian species, including humans.”

Please use the form below to write to OSU President Edward Ray and OHSU President-Elect Joseph Robertson Jr. asking that they immediately stop these needless “gay sheep” experiments and use taxpayers’ money for legitimate research instead."

http://getactive.peta.org/campaign/GaySheepExperiments

*Thanks to Rachel Young off of Creative Commons for the adorable graphic.

Diversity Lesson 101: "Pansexuality"

Pansexual is a term that has been growing in recent years as a way for people to better identify their sexual identity. The word Pansexual is derived from the Greek prefix pan, meaning "all". The term is reflective of those who feel they are sexually/emotionally/spiritually capable of falling in love with all genders.

Definition:
Pansexuals have the capability of attraction to others regardless of their gender identity or biological sex. A pansexual could be open to someone who is male, female, transgender, intersex, or agendered/genderqueer.

Pansexual FAQ:
Do Pansexuals like everyone?
Pansexual identified people have the physical/emotional/spiritual capability of falling in love or being with someone regardless of their gender. This doesn't mean they like everyone, and some Pansexuals do have physical preferences. The identity is used merely to express the openness and fluidity to people of all genders.

How is Pansexuality different from Polysexuality?
Pan means "all" while Poly means "many" and so there are some similar overlaps, a Polysexual may be attracted to some gender variant people but not have the capability or desire to be with some others. Pansexuals are open to any person regardless of their gender or sex.

Aren't Pansexuals really just Bisexual?
Pansexuality is not to be confused with Bisexuality in which "Bi" denotes two genders (male & female) and "Pan" being "all" is open to people who fall at all points or even outside of the gender continuum.

Asexual Pride Graphics

I have created a listing of Asexual Pride graphics for Asexuals & Allies to show support and create awareness about the Asexual Community.

Click here for Asexual Pride Graphics.

The reason the graphics are on a seperate entry is because it would lag the main page and make it difficult for readers. So surf over there and start decorating, post links to your decorated pages!

Organization Spotlight: Asexual Visibility and Education Network

"The Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) was founded in 2001 with two distinct goals: creating public acceptance and discussion of asexuality and facilitating the growth of an asexual community. Since that time we have grown to host the world’s largest asexual community, serving as an informational resource for people who are asexual and questioning, their friends and families, academic researchers and the press. AVEN members throughout the world regularly engage in visibility projects, included but not limited to distributing informational pamphlets, leading workshops, arranging local meetups and speaking to interested press. The AVEN community centers around the web forum, which provides a safe space for asexual and questioning people and their partners, friends and families to discuss their experiences."

http://www.asexuality.org/home/

MTV video on Asexuality and AVEN website!

• MTV
• Music Videos
• MTV Shows
• Entertainment News

"Voices Against 377" - Human Rights for India/Singapore!

‘Voices Against 377 is a coalition of Non Governmental Organisations (NGO) and progressive groups based in Delhi. It is a point of intersection and dialogue between various social movements that these groups represent, where a united voice is being articulated against Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code which criminalizes private consensual sexual acts deemed to be against the order of nature.

Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code is cited below:

“377. Unnatural Offences.
Whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animal, shall be punished with imprisonment for life, or with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to ten years, and shall also be liable to fine.”

The law penalizes certain sexual acts equally. For example oral sex, regardless of whether it is heterosexual or homosexual; even penile-masturbation of one person by another – is considered criminal. Although facially neutral, the law has effectively stigmatized and criminalized a section more than others, namely same-sex desiring people, including those who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT), hijra, kothi and other Queer people. The law has been used by the police to intimidate same sex desiring people and has been a source of serious human rights violations."



Sign the "Voices Against 377" Petition!

Open Forum: That's So Straight!?

Well all grew up hearing the famous phrase "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me". It probably didn't take long to realize that this line is the furthest thing from the truth.

"75.4% of students heard derogatory remarks such as "faggot" or "dyke" frequently or often at school, and nearly nine out of ten (89.2%) reported hearing "that's so gay" or "you're so gay" - meaning stupid or worthless- frequently or often." (GLSEN)

The National School Climate Survey found that LGBT students are more likely to by physically harassed, skip class, drop out, and have a lower GPA due to assault.

Words are hurtful and many times abuse begins verbally and eventually leads to physical violence. As Queer activists & Allies it is important to stand up, many times people utter these words without thinking twice about what their connotation is and whom they might be offending.

So I pose the question, what if anything do you do to combat hateful words? Do you say something, and if so how do you handle it and what has the outcome been?

"The Sexual Questionnaire" - Reversing Questions Asked of Asexuals

A few weeks back I posted the Heterosexual Questionnaire to reverse silly questions often asked of gay people, and let straight people tackle them.

Thanks to the clever wit of the Asexual Underground there is now one adapted for sexual people, to better understand asexuals.

"Please note that this is meant facetiously, and in no way should be used that human sexuality is unnatural or unhealthy— for most people it is natural and healthy. The purpose of these questions is to challenge the assumption that all people inherently are or should be sexual.

1) What do you think caused your sexuality?

2) When and how did you first decide you were sexual, and why did you make that choice?

3) Is it possible that your sexuality is just a phase that you will grow out of?

4) It is possible that your sexuality stems from a neurotic fear of dealing with people and not just their bodies, or from a neurotic obsession with physical bodies, or worse, an inability to see past a body?

5) Sexuals have histories of failed asexual relationships, not being able to deal with close personal non-sexual relating. Do you think you may have turned sexual out of fear of emotional intimacy?

6) If you’ve never had a really intimate relationship with someone without all the messy things that happen when you mix in sex and bodily fluids, how do you know you wouldn’t prefer that?

7) If sexuality is normal, why is there such huge spectrum of sexual attraction, drive and desire?

8) Sexuality and sexual activity can be indicative of hormonal or psychological problems, and even brain damage. Have you considered getting your hormones checked or having a psychological assessment?

9) Many people who have been sexually abused while children or teenagers act out sexually and become very sexual later in life. Were you abused as a child or teenager? Is that why you are sexual?

10) To whom have you disclosed your sexual tendencies? How did they react?

11) Your sexuality doesn’t offend me as long as you leave me alone, but why do so many sexuals try to seduce others into that orientation, or seduce them all?

12) If you should choose to nurture children, would you want them to be sexual, knowing the problems they would face, all the complicated things they would need to deal with in their relationships and lives?

13) Most child molesters, rapists and abusers are sexual. Do you consider it safe to expose your children to sexuals? Sexual teachers, particularly?

14) Why must sexuals be so blatant, making a public spectacle of your sexuality? Can’t you just be what you are and keep it quiet?

15) Sexuals always assign their relationships such narrowly restricted, categories of “friend” or “partner”. Why do you cling to such unhealthy and limiting relationship categories? Why can’t you just love?

16) How can you have a fully satisfying, deeply emotional experience with another person when you are preoccupied by sex and what your bodies are doing? How can two people actually be intimate if they are constantly seeing and treating each other as sexual objects, or trying to get sexual fulfillment?

17) Sexual relationships have total societal support, yet divorce and messy break ups continue to cause sexuals profound distress. Why are there so few stable sexual relationships?

18) Since sexuality and problems that stem from it are so painful for so many people, techniques have been developed to help sexuals change. Have you considered trying hormone or aversion therapy?

20) How do sexuals ever concentrate when they have to deal with the constant bother of sexual attraction, sex drive, and spending time and energy pursuing people for sexual relationships?

21) A disproportionate number of criminals and other irresponsible types are sexual. And there are so many types of self-destructive, abusive and oppressive behaviours that are sexual in nature. So how can sexuality possibly be normal and healthy?

22) So many sexual people are only willing to be emotionally intimate with someone if they are in a sexual relationship. Why are sexuals so emotionally frigid?

23) Maybe you only think you’re sexual because you haven’t met the right person. Do you think you’re only turning to sexuality because you are desperate and emotionally unfulfilled?

24) There are so many physical risks involved with sexuality, including STI’s and unplanned pregnancy, not to mention the emotional risks and frustration especially in long-term committed sexual relationships. Why would anyone want to be sexual?

25) Why do sexuals need to be validated by having someone else desire them sexually? Why are they so insecure?"

Organization Spotlight: Intersex Society of North America

Pride Graphics by HitupMyspace.com

I am introducing a new type of posting that I will be doing from time to time which is highlighting organizations that serve the Queer community, these are organizations which have resources for us, advocate for us, and are worth checking out and donating to.

Today, I wanted to give a shout out to the Intersex Society of North America (ISNA) which works tirelessly for the rights of intersexual individuals (people born with ambiguous genitalia who are not male or female). ISNA advocates for change within the medical establishment which currently deals with intersex children by assigning them a gender the doctor and parents feel is reflective of the child. The child often undergoes "cosmetic surgery". Intersexual children face many difficulties later in life such as gender identity issues, depression, and suicidal tendencies because of these surgeries. ISNA advocates for allowing the child to choose their gender and to make the decision if they want surgery as an adult. Many people choose to remain intersexual and not undergo surgery and can live healthy and productive lives. Please check out their website and learn more about Intersexuality, and what you can do to to be a better advocate for this community!

Intersex Society of North America