Saturday, July 19, 2008

Word of the Gay: "Monosexism"

"Monosexism" is the belief that Homosexuality or Heterosexuality are superior or more valid than a Bisexual orientation. People who are "Monosexist" dismiss Bisexuality as confusion, hedonism, sinful, and/or people who are closeted about their Hetero or Homosexual orientation.


CrackerLilo said...

Thank you for this. It's a very useful word, because sometimes we bisexuals end up ducking in two directions!

Queers United said...

I know right! As if Bisexuals didn't have it hard enough being a sexual minority, its crazy when they get heat from both the straights and the gays for who they are.

Legion XXXVI said...

Agreed. I had an hour long session with my counselor this morning because I've kind of been hiding from myself and I didn't have anyone to talk to. Just try to find decent LGBT resources in the Dayton, Ohio area! Sheesh!

Anonymous said...

Apparently straights and gays know us better than we do...

Anonymous said...

Just thinking: Where would you put asexuals? Right now I think it’s even worse to be asexual than bisexual, because bisexuality at least exists. I guess most people think it is still better to be bisexual than not to be sexual at all.

Legion XXXVI said...

I almost said that I couldn't imagine being asexual... then I realized that after several failed um... intimate encounters with women, I just kind of turned my sex drive off. I didn't think about it at all... I even got flashed once... well, not intentionally... at least I don't think. But anyway, not so much as a single er... stirring.

I'm kinda coming out of the fog, now, and (yeah, I know it's a cliche) I'm trying to find myself.

Don't know where it's going to lead, but one of my greatest hopes is that in my journey, I will have the opportunity to meet and do what I can to help other people with their issues... Or even if they don't have issues and just want to talk...

Mr. C (a.k.a. Clarence) said...

I am blessed in my life to never have had to "find myself" ("orientation"ally-speaking) in that I have always, always known that I was gay (of course, like most everyone else, as a child, I didn't know the word was "gay"...I just knew I was somehow different).

Since coming to terms with the natural comfort I've always felt inside regarding my God-given sexual orientation vis-à-vis a life of hiding who I really am from an unaccepting world, I believe I've finally come to the understanding that--for some people in this world--there is no "black or white" as regards the gender to whom they are attracted.

I also will admit that it has taken a little longer in my life to grasp the concept, and I may have sadly & regrettably engaged in monosexism at some point in my life, but I know now that the very, very simple truth is that bisexuality is just another natural orientation for some people. Unlike most of the rest of us, from what I can see, bisexuals just don't let another person's gender limit their hearts.

While I am not a speaker for all of Gaydom, I have to admit that I've seen people not just in the hetero world, but in our own "family" saddled with the affliction of "monosexism". I never knew the word til today, but it is definitely a reality.

After sorting out so much in my life since coming out, I've come to terms & made peace with many facts; one of which is the very simple fact that bisexuals are who they are & they struggle like the rest of us in the sexual minority to be open & honest & true to themselves. The hetero world works so hard sometimes to discourage us all from being anything but the cookie-cutter human beings that make them feel more comfortable.

In my humble opinion, gay & lesbian people should not only NOT be part of the problem that is foisted upon bisexual people by the larger society, we must always remember that these brothers & sisters are as much a valued part of our family as anyone else. For obvious reasons, we in the gay and lesbian community should know better than most to never denigrate or disparage someone whose heart works differently than our own. We should celebrate with our bisexual family members their willingness to cast aside anypre-conceived notions (homosexual and/or heterosexual) to be true to themselves & the world, and remember that just like the rest of us, bisexual people are simply following their hearts. There is nothing but nobility in that.

Queers United said...

Tanja - You raise an interesting question, im not sure there is anything out there on Monosexism and Asexuality but I will look into it.

Mr. C - Well said, I especially like the part where you refer to heteros as trying to mold us into a cookie-cutter molded human. We def should celebrate diversity within the community with regards to orientation, practice, and style.

Laurie said...

I've been told there's no such
thing as 'BISEXUAL' by LESBIANS!!
They said I was either gay or
straight. I know what I feel and I
know how much it hurts too.
I NEED the same thing with a woman
that I have with my husband.


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